Transform Your Insights into Action (The Why Didn't Anybody Ever Teach Me This Edition)

I was 16 the first time I read my own journals and realized I had "brilliantly" had the same insight no fewer than eight times that year.

The problem?

Having the same insight over and over means you aren't implementing it. Here's how to move beyond self-congratulatory mental masturbation (and failing personal growth), into integrating your realizations for an ever-better, always improving you.

Every personal insight comes with three special ingredients

The insight itself. Aha!

The feeling of that insight

The new behaviors associated with that insight

Let's start with an example many have experienced.

Someone we love dies.

In the depths of grief, we feel regret for some way we took them for granted, and the paired realization that we want to treat people in our lives better.

Often, we make a passionate vow that's meaningless because it never gets implemented.

The question is, how do we turn these critical realizations into software updates for our human operating systems?

Here's the update

The Insight. When the insight comes - honor it. Take a beat and give it the space it needs for you to "get it" fully.

The Feeling. The insight you had is not just an idea, it's an actual feeling you have in your body. It might even be two feelings. A "bad" feeling providing the felt motivation away from old behaviors and into the "good" feeling you get when you imagine the updated behaviors you're moving towards. You need to leverage these feelings. They are the energy you use to implement the update.

Here's what I mean. If the realization is that you took that loved one for granted, you need to do three things. Define how, specifically, you took them for granted. Spend at least a few minutes on this.?Give specific examples. Feel into it. Give it a name.

Consider the opposite of those behaviors. If you didn't call often enough - how often will you call a loved one now? Think of a specific person as you play this out in your mind. If you were emotionally or energetically closed off - how will you engage this person emotionally / energetically going forward? Use the away-from feeling as motivation and consultant to guide and shape your new behaviors. Imagine the new behaviors in specific contexts.

Pay attention to how the updated approach makes you feel. You are aiming to feel at least as good as the feeling you're moving away from made you feel bad. Imagine how others will respond to this new you - this helps anchor in the update. Give the feeling and conduct of this new you a name. e.g. "Took for granted" -->becomes--> "Always present" or --> "like family". The name should feel natural and make sense to you.

The Behavior: Pick 1 specific context to implement your new behavior. See yourself in that context interacting in this new way. Feel how it feels. Notice how happy and fulfilled it makes you and others. Once you've done that successfully, run the same short movie of that interaction through three times very quickly (1-2 seconds). Track your success. Once you know it worked a few times, you can be confident you've integrated your insight and updated yourself as a person.

Changes To Your Self Image

The updated feeling is something you keep with you. You won't necessarily feel it all the time, you'll feel it when you consider that aspect of your life.

But it will also change the way you think about yourself more globally. Following the example above, if after a few days you've already found yourself open, present and connected in a few experiences with a couple specific people (not taking your time or friendship for granted) you will FEEL different - about how you show up in the world, and about who you are.

Once you've established this new approach and habit - it will become increasingly easy to apply to any situation.

Double The Value

The first few times you do this, your aim is to follow the steps and execute the elements from beginning to end.

However, once you’ve done it a few times and you get the hang of it, the entire process will begin to happen automatically and near-instantly.

This is one of the most simple and powerful programs you can learn. It creates an internal engine of transformation that will endlessly enrich your life.

Invest the time now and you’ll have a strategy for learning and personal evolution that serves you life long.