Transform Tuesday: Becoming Better in Small Talks

Hi Linkedin Friends,

Here's 1 idea, 1 lesson and 1 question for your personal growth this week.

1 Idea

Here's 1 mindset tip that improved my comfort in hosting small talks.

Be interested, not interesting.

When I was younger, I was a nervous speaker. I was quiet and I didn't speak much.

When someone was speaking, I was already rehearsing what I was going to say next in my head in order to continue the conversation. There was a lot of cognitive load happening which people couldn't see.

The result? It was stressful and I couldn't recall what the conversation was about. Group settings were the worst—surrounded by extroverts, I’d just freeze. By the time I gathered my thoughts, someone else had already said what I was thinking, and I’d have to scramble for something new to contribute.

Then, I had a lightbulb moment: instead of trying to be the most interesting person in the room, I shifted my focus to being genuinely interested in others. Now, I sit back, relax, and let the conversation flow. I lean into what I do best—listening and asking questions.

It’s important to remember that we all play different roles in social settings. Not everyone needs to be a talker; some of us shine as active listeners. Sometimes, you might even find yourself in a group where everyone is quieter than you. That’s your cue to step up and share a bit more!

Embracing quietness has been a game changer for me.

If somebody has ever said to you that you are shy or quiet, fear not, you have a remarkable superpower within.

Be interested. Not interesting.

— Aaron Pang

1 Lesson

If someone asked you this at a dinner, what would you say?

There are four men in a cave and the cave is about to collapse. They try to escape through the only hole to the surface. They are stacked up on top of each other, but the one on top is an obese person. Just as he gets halfway out of the hole, he gets stuck. The three men stacked below started to run out of air. Should they shoot him and pull him out of the way? Or should they let him keep struggling, knowing they probably will suffocate below him? Who should live - the one of the three?

Larry King - "How to Talk to Anyone, Anything, Anywhere"

1 Question for You

Have you experienced moments where you were listening to speak? If you catch yourself doing it again next time, what are you going to do?

Grow Together.

Aaron Pang

Bestselling Author. Keynote & Motivational Speaker. Growth Coach. Helping people uncover their remarkable potential to live their dream.

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