Transform Small Talk into Bigger Connections

What a beautiful time of year… the leaves are changing, pumpkin spice everything is here, and actuaries everywhere are putting the finishing touches on their slides and making travel arrangements.

Welcome to Conference Season

Now that I work with actuaries across industries and even internationally, I’ve come to realize that October and November are an incredibly busy time for actuarial conferences. In just the next six weeks, there are in-person conferences for the SOA, CAS, CCA, AAA, and IFoA.

What are the chances? (Don't answer that!)

I might even be missing a few.

I, for one, am excited to be attending and speaking at the Conference of Consulting Actuaries Annual Meeting at the end of October.

All of this conference activity means it’s time to?dust off those networking skills.

I'll admit—networking does not come naturally to me. In a room full of strangers, it’s tempting to stay on the periphery, seek out familiar faces, or hover by the refreshments table.

One company I worked for tried to help their introverted and safety-in-numbers actuaries by giving us targets for the number of business cards we should collect at each conference. While it did encourage me to shake more hands, it didn’t necessarily create lasting or meaningful connections.

Networking at conferences is about connecting, not collecting.

Over the years, I’ve picked up a few tricks that make networking a little easier—and even something to look forward to.

Personally Break the Ice:

When someone asks, “How's your day going?”, it's tempting to reply with a simple, “Great, thanks. You?” While polite, we have just volleyed the conversation back to them with nothing to grab onto. There is a good chance that you'll hear, "Yeah, me, too," and then you'll both look down at your third coffee of the day while you each think of the next thing to say or some way to escape.

Instead, try starting your response with, “Personally, I…”

The word “personally” draws people in and piques their interest. Share something that invites curiosity or offers multiple threads to continue the conversation.

For example:

• "Personally, I just came from a session on data visualization using PowerBI that gave me some great ideas for my team.”
• "Personally, I really enjoyed taking a walk outside the hotel this morning—usually, I start my days walking my dog."

These small details provide entry points for others to engage with you more deeply.

Table the Title:

When someone asks, “So what do you do?”, most of us default to, “I’m a chief actuary at…” or “I lead regional pricing for…”

Instead of starting with your job title, offer a unique angle or pose a question that sparks curiosity:

• “I go where few actuaries have gone before—lately, that’s figuring out how to safely use AI in actuarial work.”
• “Have you experienced what happens when underwriters and actuaries collaborate well? I love helping my team of pricing actuaries to think out of the box when working with our partners.”

Sharing an interesting or unexpected element of your role makes the conversation more engaging and helps you stand out.

Ask for the Best:

Instead of the usual small-talk questions like “How’s the weather?” or “Where are you from?”, try asking about positive experiences. It opens up the conversation and gives others a chance to share something meaningful to them.

For example:

• “What’s been the best part of this conference for you?”
• “What’s the best book you’ve read recently?”

Focusing on positive, memorable experiences helps create a connection and keeps the conversation flowing.

By reframing how we approach these interactions and using a few new tactics, we can turn conferences into opportunities for growth and genuine connection. So as you gear up for the next big event, embrace the challenge and make the most of those networking moments.

And one last tip—don’t forget to follow up after the event!?A quick email or LinkedIn message that references your conversation can start to turn a brief encounter into a lasting professional relationship.

Deeper Dive

While the above focuses on building one-on-one connections, conferences often present opportunities to step into already going small group conversations. Knowing how to break into these discussions effectively can be just as important as initiating your own.

To get some ideas on how to do this, check out this fantastic article by Jessica Guzik,?"Break?Into?Any?Conversation?in?Three?Easy?Steps."

Whether you’re looking to expand your professional network at an upcoming event or simply feel more comfortable in social settings, use some of these techniques to confidently stop lurking or waiting for an invitation in.

Lab Work

Prepare specific, actionable goals for upcoming networking events. Before attending your next conference, take 10 minutes to set three networking goals:

• Identify one?person or type of professional?you want to connect with (e.g., “I want to meet a senior actuary from a different firm who is using AI already”).
• Write down one?conversation starter or icebreaker?you’ll use when meeting new people (e.g., “What’s the most interesting trend you’ve seen in our field this year?”).
• Set an intention for one?group conversation?you’ll aim to join during the event (e.g., during a coffee break, lunchtime, or after a session).

As you progress through the conference, keep track of your goals, and reflect on how well you met them. With a little preparation and a few small goals, you can feel more focused and confident going in to your next networking opportunity.

P.S.

If you are going to be at the CCA Annual Meeting, let me know. Personally, I love meeting new people and saying hi to old friends and colleagues!

?? Share your insights, thoughts, and findings in the comments or DM me.

Hi, I'm Aree, a sustainable success speaker, author, coach and seasoned actuary. Throughout my healthcare actuarial career, I developed my passion for team-building and mentorship. Now, I've turned that passion into a mission: to empower actuaries and analytical professionals to navigate their complex fields with clarity and purpose. By providing tools, insights, and as a partner, I help individuals build sustainable, fulfilling careers that truly align with their values and aspirations, and help leaders build effective and cohesive teams.

?? Connect with me on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/areebly

?? Contact me: [email protected]