Transcending Transaction

I got COVID in early April.

Despite strict precautions, I was knocked out for six weeks. And I was pissed.

You see, I arrogantly thought I’d be immune to COVID. This bravado was born not of superiority but from entitlement, like the universe owed me. As some of you know, I’d been involved in a traumatic car accident six years prior. While the accident fast tracked my spiritual growth, it also stripped me of all false identities - relationships, money, status - all gone. The dismantling process was excruciating, and I thought I’d paid my dues.

I was wrong.

The thing is, Spirit isn’t transactional.

This isn’t a quid pro quo relationship where “if I eat all my vegetables” then I’ll be rewarded. As much as it would make things cleaner, more straight forward; in my experience, it doesn’t work that way.

Why?

Spirit is relational.

Spirit continually invites us into deeper connection, sacred intimacy, and eternal discovery. Spirit wants us to connect in all its infinite dimensionality. To that end, Spirit consistently reveals itself in new and fresh ways: in our world, in each other and in ourselves. This is the pathway of awakening: noticing, allowing, and being in wonderment of all that is.?

In my case, Spirit used COVID to deepen my connection by first taking it away. With the virus, my primary ways of knowing just plain stopped. Whenever I’d open the Records, it would feel familiar, but I had no orientation – it was like I was lost in the woods, but my reception was low, the satellites were still transmitting, but I couldn’t access Google Maps. Anyone who’s experienced a “systems down” error, knows the maddening frustration of this moment. However, it is in this precise juncture – the place of discomfort, annoyance, and grief – that Spirit reveals itself and invites us into a new way of being.

As I began to quiet, my anger slowly thawed, and I was conscious of a new dimension blossoming before me. With my “screen off”, I had greater awareness of nearby “mountains”, “streams” and “stars”; and over time, I began to decipher summits, cool waters, and twinkles in the sky. This would serve as my new geography for an upgraded navigation system. From here, I guide clients with an organic perspective - less “technology”, more intimacy. I am delighted to find that they too experience Spirit with a depth previously unexplored. By focusing less on how I was connecting and more on what I was connecting to, a deeper knowing has emerged for myself and those I serve.

Pain is not a punishment, but an invitation for intimacy.

It’s been four months since my diagnosis, and I’m still recovering from COVID. I’ve had numerous hiccups, loads of doctor’s visits and big pile of bills to prove it. Yet, I am grateful for the pathway of pain for it has transformed my world. While I’d prefer more rainbows and unicorns, I marvel at the magic that is wholly present. I’ve realized, that when we release control on *how* Divine shows up, we can delight at *what* shows up. ?

As we enter a new phase of the pandemic, it can be easy to be overwhelmed and disheartened. The next time you feel yourself moving into frustration and uncertainty, I invite you to get quiet and deepen.

It is by focusing our gaze on connection, that we transcend the realm of transaction.

#spiritualleadership #akashicrecords #consciousness #COVID #mindfulness #intimacy #spirituality #growth #leadership #connection