Transcending Adversity

Different versions of these two articles were published as a pair in the Jamaica Gleaner, two weeks apart.

i. Transcending the Trap of Ambition

As a high achiever, you likely gauge success by the scope of your accomplishments. Your career advancement, financial security, family growth or other goals are realized through diligent work and conscious effort. When you attain those tangible targets after years of strain and sacrifice, it validates your talents and grit.

Or so it seems initially. But in time, you may come to a sobering realization – hitting each milestone does not equate to an enduring sense of happiness or contentment. After each hard-won promotion, the thrill fades within weeks. Upon hitting your net worth targets, your appetite for more remains. Settling down with your dream partner or having kids fails to fully satisfy for long.

You find yourself needing to establish the next set of ambitions and goals once the euphoria of the last ones dissipates. It becomes an endless cycle of achievement followed by newly uncovered voids to fill. You chase the next rung up the ladder, hoping it will be the one to provide lasting fulfillment, once and for all. But it never does.

This phenomenon is perfectly encapsulated by insights into the psychology of the ultra-wealthy. In interviews, numerous billionaires admit that regardless of their princely bank balances, they do not feel truly carefree. Asked how much money it would take to make them happy, most respond “just 20% more.” Even those with more money than they could spend in a hundred lifetimes feel they require a bit more to be content.

Clearly, there are dangerous pitfalls in deriving your sense of happiness and accomplishment strictly from ambition. Yet modern society offers few viable alternatives. We feel frustration and dismay when our goals – whether career, finances, relationships or other benchmarks of “success” – are not attained on the expected timetables. If only we could get that promotion, save up enough to retire comfortably, find our soulmate or start a family, then we would be happy. Or so we tell ourselves.

Happiness as an Obligation

When voicing disappointment over missed goals or setbacks on the road to ambition, there is no shortage of well-meaning people willing to remind you that, “You should just be happy and grateful for all the blessings in your life!” They will recite all the accomplishments you’ve achieved, the comforts and security you possess, the people that care for you and advantages you were lucky enough to be born with. Just be content with what you have, they insist.

But simply telling someone they should derive happiness from their existing circumstances is rarely effective beyond temporary lip-service gratitude. It also implies there is something wrong with you for not being perfectly content and cheerful at all times, regardless of setbacks. This just reinforces unrealistic expectations of constant joy.

Yes, cultivating gratitude and perspective around what we already have can be highly beneficial. But this is most effective as an intentional, proactive exercise, not a passive obligation. The path to genuine fulfillment requires examining our relationship with ambition itself. It means understanding the neurological roots of concepts like greed, desire, and suffering. This enables consciously shaping habits and mindsets rather than being controlled by them unconsciously.

Two Modes of Wanting

An enlightening distinction made by some languages is between two different forms of “wanting” things. In English, we use the same term to convey both varieties. However, they represent distinct neurological states:

Wanting (a) refers to craving continuation or permanence of positive conditions and experiences. It manifests as ambition, greed, lust, attachment, or addiction. There is an insatiable quality, where fulfillment is always contingent on something not yet obtained. This ties your happiness to external conditions and goals not under your control in the present.

Wanting (b) means embracing and appreciating the positive elements of your reality in the moment, without requiring them to persist indefinitely. Think of deeply savoring an ice cream cone without any expectation or need to continue eating it forever. Or admiring a beautiful sunset without wishing it would never end. No attachment to continuity – simply gratitude for the gift of this ephemeral experience.

Practicing Intentional Wanting

Wanting (a) has its place in moderation. Ambition provides forward momentum and drive. But problems arise when Wanting (a) becomes excessive and grids out Wanting (b). Every positive experience gets taken for granted or leaves you needing more.

Companies often leverage Wanting (b) during strategy sessions. Teams accept current weaknesses in the business to diagnose issues before working to change course. But individuals have difficulty applying Wanting (b) to appreciate life conditions in the present.

The next article in this two-part series will explore daily practices that strengthen your capacity for Wanting (b). This helps short-circuit the dissatisfaction loop of unending ambition and anchors you in gratitude. By consciously focusing Wanting (a) only on select priorities, you gain control over your happiness. Your contentment then stems from within, not hostage to external conditions. This inner footing provides the stable base to sustainably grow and evolve.

ii. Finding Clarity Amid Workplace Adversity

Navigating professional challenges can feel daunting when your usual methods of coping fail. Friction with colleagues, performance setbacks, economic pressures - these issues can linger and even permeate teams. In times of turbulence, a fresh perspective is needed to build resilience. But where can you start?

Author Byron Katie provided just that with her notion that, “When you are perfectly clear, what is...is the same as what you want.”

While this may sound like a description of what it’s like to be insanely rich, it’s not about achieving all your goals.

Instead, this idea carries powerful implications for managing mindsets when facing adversity. Here is a 3-step, experimental approach to embrace clarity and acceptance:

Step 1: Taking Stock

Begin by taking stock of your immediate surroundings through your senses - the feeling of your feet on the floor, the airflow from the vent, the muffled voices down the hall. Include the observation that you reading this on a screen. Make note of these concrete facts and sensations that comprise your present-moment experience.

Next, turn attention inward. What thoughts, emotions, and social dynamics are swirling within at this time? Name each aspect, from fleeting feelings to charged exchanges with colleagues. These intangible factors also constitute your reality right now.

Let’s mentally label them a pile of stuff you are “Having.”

1. “Wanting” One at a Time

Now comes the transformative step: transitioning from “having” to “wanting.” After acknowledging each element of your experience, pause and consciously shift into a state of desire. Embrace the desire for what you have, whether it’s this article, your emotions, or even unwelcome sensations like a screen that is too dim.

The key here is to practice acceptance and embrace every facet of your experience, even the ones you’d typically resist. It’s a form of mental jiu-jitsu, where you actively notice a fact, and the feelings around “Wanting” it.

This “having-then-wanting” can transform even the most awful moments.

1. Building Resilience for Future Challenges

While seemingly simple, the true challenge lies in applying this framework during times of stress. That’s why proactive practice is crucial. Think of it as training for your personal mental Olympics. By regularly practicing “having-then-wanting” in calmer moments, you build inner strength and resilience for when the next hurdle arises.

Notice that in these high-pressure moments, unwanted thoughts forcefully occupy our minds, followed by negative feelings and sensations in our bodies. As we respond, we ignore our inner state in order to survive.

Now imagine embracing, i.e. “Wanting” each of these elements. These could keep us from denying the truth of situations such as the January 6th insurrection. Many are not “Having” it - denying eyewitness testimony and video tapes.

But this isn’t just for you; it’s a team leadership superpower. By collectively acknowledging reality and embracing experiences, you’ll bounce back from setbacks faster and remain grounded when faced with adversity. Imagine the collaborative power of a team where everyone accepts “what is” and works together to navigate it.

Ultimately, this approach empowers you to face stress with grace and emerge stronger. Remember, you would now have the tools to weather any storm. Embrace the practice, cultivate resilience, and forge ahead with confidence, knowing you possess the inner strength to find calm amidst the chaos, even when challenges feel overwhelming.

P.S. - Long-Term Strategy - Going away? Gone? Lost?...Or is it more important than ever?

You are concerned about the effect of short-termism on strategic planning. In your company/clients, it means the death of sustainable thinking. But being concerned is not enough. Skills matter more, and so does data and important insights you can use to move the needle. That's why we're sharing insights and replays on the JumpLeap Newsletter page.

P.P.S. Don't forget to register for the conference I'm hosting. The Long-Term Strategy Conference is taking registrations. https://strategyconf.fwconsulting.com