TRANS DAY OF VISIBILITY

It has always been an arduous journey for those of us who repeatedly experience the otherness of what trans or non-binary looks and sounds like. Society still insists on the binary versions of male and female. If anyone looks, acts, dresses, walks, talks, and sounds like a male or female then they pass. Deviate from the normative hetero-versions of this genderizing then they are just another male or female trying to be someone they are not.

Some of us live in the capital world of gender rules. The rules are not unique in that everyone in the South is raised to address people by pronouns hinging on their outward presentations before they even open their mouths to utter a single sound. These pronouns were built into vocabularies to show respect for the person but in today's world, pronouns can be problematic when they misgender individuals.

We grow up with salutations, pronouns, and nicknames that along our life span we either earned or were assigned to us because of some endearing moment. Eventually, we grow up and we don't want to be called "little Johnny" when we stand 6 feet in height and weigh 260 pounds, or "Hercules" when we weigh 110 pounds sopping wet. The same could be said about those of us whose identities do not match the other person's version of male or female.

My partner and I have joked about what this world of mine would look like if I showed up with my facial shadow.

I recently had lunch with an old friend of mine who remembered me before I transitioned. The moment spoke for itself when the server referred to us as "ladies" throughout the meal.

Friends will ask me "why don't you correct them?" Well, my response is always the same. "If I had to correct every single person I pass along the way, each time and every day, it would amount to many times around."

It is exhausting and frustrating. I have stopped correcting people. It feels forced upon me to have to do this as it becomes "my job" or "my calling" and "my duty." That alone feels unauthentic to me because it places the lens on me and not them.

If I work with you, I will afford you the grace to self-correct as you will afford me the grace to help you do so.

I firmly believe in treating people kindly and with respect. However, it borders on sheer meanness and neglect when individuals fail to make effort to practice mindfully when addressing trans and non-binary people. If I work with you, I will afford you the grace to self-correct as you will afford me the grace to help you do so.

There are ways to recognize and support trans and non-binary individuals in your community. One monumental way is to use welcoming and inclusive language.

Trans visibility day is about respecting the person and their dignity. So, I want to personally thank all of you who have time and time again fought on behalf of trans, non-binary, and intersex populations for rights, equality, dignity, and respect and walked the talk.