Training Wheels, Attitude vs. Behavior

EDIT: Given the amount of uncertainty in the world today due to COVID-19 , I brought back this article that I created a few years ago.

One of the universal feelings that most people can relate to, is remembering the first time a bicycle was ridden without training wheels. Remember that feeling of joy and freedom? For many of us, that feeling also includes a loved one holding the back of the bicycle seat, giving a push, perhaps running alongside and cheering us on.

I have vivid memories of this for another reason as well: The very first time I was able to ride my bike without training wheels (a yellow huffy pedal bike with an oversized banana seat and massive metal chain guard; a.k.a. the big bertha), I was peddling furiously down a hill where my parents lived. Our house was located towards the bottom of the hill, and I was flying down the hill with the biggest smile a little kid can have.

My father was running behind me, and my mother was cheering me on from our driveway. My little brother was also watching his hero come flying down the hill, excited and wanting to join in the fun. As I passed our front driveway, I lost control of my bike, and proceeded to execute a terrific face plant right into the pavement.

I had managed to cut my cheek and get a terrific case of “road rash. “ I also became quite scared of crashing again, and my attitude towards riding or even getting back on my bike became one of falling in love again with my Big wheel instead.

For the next two weeks, my father and mother came up with a plan. No matter what I said, no matter what my attitude was, I was gently encouraged to practice the behavior of riding my bike again. First just in the driveway, then just in our yard, moving on towards using the street, and finally back at the top of the hill.

Sometimes, my father would ride his bike next to me, at other times, my mother would do the same. What my parents managed to always do, is make sure the behaviour of getting back on the bike and practicing, no matter what my attitude was, would lead me to succeed.

As a society, we are constantly reminded about how our attitude is the driver in our lives. Think about it: whatever goal, whatever achievement, we are told time and again that attitude is everything. I think this is wrong. What this has done, is create a mindset that human beings must have continuous positive attitudes in order to achieve.

Any deviation, or for lack of a better term “crappy” feelings, are to be put aside and replaced with positive ones. If we truly think about it, does this reflect the truth about what it means to be a human being? Are we being honest with ourselves, if we truly believe “attitude is everything? “ How are we to think about not having the “best attitude” about each and everything we set about in our daily lives?

On the other hand, the daily behaviors that you and I commit to, no matter what our attitudes are, provide a blueprint to truly achieve lasting success. Think about it: perhaps at work today we are faced with some tasks that we are not thrilled about, and we are not “looking forward to it” with gusto and anticipation.

You know what? That’s ok! The lesson I was first taught with my bicycle was that having those thoughts, feelings, and attitudes is entirely normal. In fact, it is a central part to being a human being.

Committing to our daily behaviors, regardless of the current attitude that may be in our thoughts, will at the very least, allow me to look back on this day and say that I accomplished those little goals that will lead me to overall success.

What mentors have you had in your life that have taught the value of behaviors vs attitudes?