Training Triumphs Newsletter #7/31: Dealing with Difficult Delegates – Turning Obstacles into Opportunities

"The greatest victory is not over others, but over oneself." – Aristotle

Dear Fellow Trainers,

As trainers, facilitators, and coaches, we often find ourselves in front of diverse audiences. We meticulously prepare our content, fine-tune our delivery, and anticipate that everything will run smoothly. But then, just as the session starts building momentum, there is always that one delegate, the person who challenges everything, remains disengaged, or even disrupts the flow. We all know them as “Difficult Delegates.”

Dealing with difficult delegates can test even the most seasoned trainers. But here is the silver lining: Every difficult delegate is an opportunity to refine our skills, expand our empathy, and create a more inclusive learning environment.

Understanding the Dynamics: Why Do Difficult Delegates Emerge?

Difficult delegates often are not trying to derail the session on purpose. They might have genuine concerns or are struggling to engage due to personal reasons. Here are some common types of difficult delegates you may encounter:

1. The Dominator: Takes over conversations and interrupts others, eager to show off their knowledge.
2. The Skeptic: Questions everything, often challenging the trainer's credibility or methods.
3. The Disengaged: Appears uninterested, checks their phone, or does not contribute to discussions.
4. The Silent Observer: Participates minimally, even when encouraged to engage.
5. The Cynic: Negative towards the topic or the training process, frequently offering dismissive comments.

Understanding the underlying motivation behind their behavior is critical. Some might be feeling anxious about their own inadequacies, while others may have experienced poor training sessions in the past. Recognizing this helps you address the root of their behavior.

Strategies to Handle Difficult Delegates Effectively

As trainers, we must adapt to every situation, even when faced with challenging behavior. Here is how you can handle difficult delegates with grace and keep your session on track:

1. Empathy is Key

Before addressing their behavior, try to understand the why. Delegates may be acting out due to stress, personal problems, or discomfort with the subject matter. Approach them with empathy. A simple statement like, “I can see you are having some concerns, let us explore them together” can disarm defensiveness.

2. Set Ground Rules Early

At the beginning of the session, establish clear expectations. Encourage open communication but also stress the importance of respect and active listening. This can prevent certain types of disruptive behavior before they arise. Let delegates know that all contributions are valuable but within respectful boundaries.

3. Involve the Group

When one person dominates or interrupts, politely redirect the conversation to the group. “Thank you for sharing, but I would love to hear from others as well. Does anyone else have insights on this?” This not only balances participation but gently nudges the difficult delegate into recognizing they need to share the stage.

4. Use Humor (But Carefully)

Lighthearted humor can sometimes defuse tension or help re-engage a distracted delegate. For example, if a delegate keeps looking at their phone, you could playfully say, “I am sure you are just Googling some fascinating additional insights for us!” All in good nature, of course. Be sure that humor does not come across as mockery.

5. Give the Skeptics Space to Share

Instead of shutting down skeptical delegates, give them space to voice their concerns. Acknowledge their points and offer an invitation for the group to discuss the topic from various perspectives. Often, skeptics feel more involved when their opinions are validated, which may encourage them to engage more constructively.

6. Break the Silence

For the quiet or disengaged delegate, consider gentle, indirect questions that are not intimidating. Ask open-ended questions, but do not force them to participate if they are uncomfortable. You might also try pairing them with a more vocal delegate in group activities, giving them a chance to contribute in a less public way.

7. Stay Calm and Professional

Regardless of the delegate’s behavior, always maintain a calm demeanor. Losing composure may give them the power to control the narrative of the session. Be respectful but firm when you need to intervene, such as when someone is interrupting too much or being dismissive of others' ideas.

The Story: From Disruption to Transformation

Let me share an experience from one of my workshops that resonates deeply with the theme of dealing with difficult delegates. In a session on emotional intelligence, I encountered a delegate who questioned everything, every concept, every example, and even the research I cited. It started to derail the session, and I could see the frustration building among other delegates.

Rather than pushing back, I paused and said, “I see you are passionate about this topic, and that is great. Let us address your concerns step by step and open it up to the group as well. I am sure we can all learn something new from this.” By making him feel heard, he began engaging more constructively. By the end of the session, the same person who started off as the biggest critic became one of the most involved delegates, even thanking me afterward for the learning experience.

Actionable Steps:

Here is how you can turn difficult delegates into allies in your next session:

1. Prepare for Different Personas: Before each session, mentally prepare for different types of difficult delegates you may encounter. Have a few strategies ready for each type.
2. Practice Active Listening: When a delegate acts out, listen to what they are saying without interrupting. Acknowledge their concerns and reframe them positively.
3. Encourage Group Discussions: Create more opportunities for the group to share, rather than leaving room for one person to dominate. Facilitate conversations that involve multiple viewpoints.
4. Stay in Control of the Session: You are the facilitator, and the group is looking to you to guide the process. Stay calm, composed, and in control, this instills trust in your abilities.
5. Reflect After Each Session: After every workshop, take a moment to reflect on how you handled difficult delegates. Identify what worked, and what you might do differently next time. Continuous improvement is key to becoming a more skilled trainer.

Conclusion

Difficult delegates are an inevitable part of training and facilitation. Rather than seeing them as obstacles, view them as opportunities to improve your skills and create a richer learning experience for everyone involved. By practicing empathy, staying calm, and maintaining control of your session, you can transform even the most challenging delegate into a valuable contributor.

Call to Action

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Let us grow together, one training session at a time!

Kind regards,

Dr Shanker Viswanath

Empowering Trainers to Achieve Excellence

#TrainingSuccess #FacilitationMastery #EngageToLead