Training our sons

Whilst speaking at a recent Women Entrepreneur’s Forum, it struck me that those of us who are fortunate enough to have supportive husbands, take this fact for granted very easily. Because that’s how it has always been for us and we don’t know any different. The truth however is that in most households the picture is completely opposite, even today.

I had women in the audience who were being asked to choose between career and husband because the husband was feeling neglected. Women who were just getting into arranged marriages where the husband didn’t mind they worked (after all with today’s inflation rates, the second income is always welcome!) but not at the loss of any comfort he or his family may suffer. So some of the girls had to get up in the morning, cook for the entire household before leaving for work, come back and make hot chapattis (because in our house the daughter-in-law always makes the food, it is a tradition, you see.)

Many of these women, determined to work, are putting their heads down and accepting the added responsibility of single- handedly managing the household along with their careers. But when will this situation change? More and more women are willing to work hard to achieve their professional goals but when will they find a supportive eco system at home to help fulfil their ambitions? No doubt things are changing, but unfortunately too slowly. The change we want will only accelerate if we recognize that we have to first start making modifications within ourselves and within our homes.

So let us ask ourselves - what training are we giving our sons? Are we teaching them that taking care of the house is equally a man’s job? That rearing children requires equal participation from both parents? That cooking is no longer a woman’s task but a life skill each one of us needs in order to become independent? Especially now when all of us are at home and they are watching that you are working as hard on your "office work" as Dad is?

If your answer to the above is yes, your future daughter-in-law and an entire generation of women will thank you. If not, we will keep adding to the burden women carry, by bringing up yet another generation of “maa da laadla bigad gaya” males.