Tragic vs Magic: A coaching power tool

Introduction

Throughout my professional life, I have come across many people experiencing different types of challenges. The most notable one is being stuck in a vicious circle, always being busy and missing out; missing out on opportunities for achievements, peace, and joy; missing out on life. Whether being an employee, a manager, a leader, or an entrepreneur, it all comes down to being stuck working in something versus working on something. Working in the business versus working on the business. The difference?  A lot of motion and no progress.

As per Merriam-Webster Dictionary, 2019, “Motion” is defined as an act, process, or instance of changing place. “Progress” is defined as a forward or onward movement.

Explanation

A typical conversation goes on like this:

-      Coach: I heard you say that you are too busy, and you are not being able to spend time with your family.

-      Client: yes!

-      Coach: What do you need to work on to get the time?

-      Client: I need to work on improving the business performance to be able to make it run smoothly and be with my family more often.

-      Coach: How do you plan on doing that?

-      Client: I need to find the time!

Summary: This client needs to find the time to find time! Mind-boggling.

This type of conversation showed me how every solution that is thought of is in fact the obstacle to that solution. This is how they see it; this is how they have framed their perspective.

The big question is: Where is that taking them? It is comparable to a child rocking a wooden horse. There is movement, but the child is not getting anywhere.

This tool is created to break that tragic vicious circle and empower the client to see the magical effect of progress.

After the identification of the main goal, this tool can be used to contribute to seeing the negative perspective and turning it into a positive one.

Application

In short, this tool is to help reframe and turn a perspective around. It can be applied during a coaching session, and the best way to do it is to start by having meaningful conversations to discover the current perspective, reframe it, and then work on new ways of seeing things.

Asking questions with the intent to know more is how it begins. The will of the person to clearly see their goal and their motivation behind a specific issue is key. “Peel the onion until you reach the core”.

Below are a few discovery questions to start these meaningful conversations:

(questions are listed in no particular order. What to ask and when depends on the situation and the answers given by the person)

-      What is your big goal?

-      How do you envision yourself when you reach that goal?

-      What are you doing to get there?

-      How is that working out for you?

-      Where are you at right now?

-      What obstacles have you encountered so far?

-      How will you know when you are unstuck?

-      What is your ideal outcome?

Tragic

Being stuck leads to tragic results that influence not only the person being stuck but also the ones around them.

Anxiety, impatience, indifference, and depression are some of the feelings a person exhibits in this state, eventually leading to procrastination and, finally, no progress. All dreams are on hold, buried under the daily routines. Helping the person highlight their current situation would help them get clarity on where they want to be and how they will get there.

Below are some reframing questions that can be used to help the person highlight their current situation:

(questions are listed in no particular order. What to ask and when depends on the situation and the answers given by the person)

-      How important is getting unstuck to you?

-      What do you benefit from staying stuck?

-      Who will be the winners/losers if you get unstuck?

-      What are you ready to change?

-      What is holding you back?

-      What is the problem in short?

-      What do you need to look at?

-      What will you ask yourself to move this forward?

-      What is stopping you from doing this?

-      What else?

At this stage, the person starts to get out of the box they are stuck in and see things from a different perspective. They reach a certain level of awareness.

The next step is to start flipping the negative into positive.

Magic

To be able to feel unstuck, one needs to move forward and progress. To progress, one needs to find an objective that can be achieved as soon as possible and then celebrate this achievement. This would bring feelings of achievement, motivation, peace, and joy. It would bring the magic.

The previous step was to be able to see the current situation through a different set of eyes. Now is the time to act.

Below are some questions that can help the person flip the perspective and act:

(questions are listed in no particular order. What to ask and when depends on the situation and the answers given by the person)

-      What do you think you have to help you move forward?

-      What could your first step be?

-      What could help you with your first step?

-      What would you do if you have all the time in the world?

-      What other options do you think you have?

-      Who can support you?

-      What are the three top actions that you would do today?

-      What options grab you the most?

-      How will you know that you completed those actions?

-      How do you measure?

-      What will you do to keep the motivation?

-      How will you celebrate the small successes?

This set of questions helps with the discovery of what can be done rather than what can not be done. It also helps in building positive emotions and energy, and, with the right accountability partner, the actions will be completed, and the vicious circle will be broken.

Reflection

We have all found ourselves at some point in time stuck in a vicious circle, and many of those times, it was due to not being able to flip our perspective. This tool, essentially used in a coaching framework, would help break that vicious circle. It raises awareness of the self and the surroundings. It helps the person look inside to find a solution rather than outside at the factors blocking them. It encourages the person to start by finding the smallest objective that could be achieved, work on achieving it, celebrate it, and then repeat. This fuels motivation, care, inner peace, self-love, and, eventually, momentum.

This positive energy flips the perspective from continuous Tragic to renewable Magic.