The "Tradwife," J. D. Vance, and What Women Need
Denise, "D. J." Mathews
![Denise, "D. J." Mathews]()
Denise, "D. J." Mathews
freelance writer, author, blogger, interested in consumer/health/travel/environmental topics
by D. J. Mathews
There's a new meme, monika, title, whatever you want to call it, for an idea whose time has come (and gone): the traditional wife or tradwife.
What is this talked about idea, some bachelor's dream, having a blonde woman in pink who waits hand and foot on him, bakes cookies in a fancy dress, smells good even as she works up a sweat vacuuming with a youngster on her hip? What are some people looking for now, a "Leave it to Beaver" TV wife like June Cleaver?
Actually, surprisingly, a few young women out there in media land (the internet) are promoting this "tradwife" idea, the submissive housewife, especially from the 1950s, and I am wondering why. I mean, didn't we "do this bit" for like, thousands of years? Do they seriously want to go back to something they only "think" all people would love if tried? (Well, men would love it, for sure.)
What if you're not tradwife material? What if you're not a perky blonde, with a perfect hour glass figure, but a brunette where all the sand has shifted to the bottom? And what if your kids are already grown and gone now, then what does that make you? Past your prime and not desirable ?
For eons, literally, men have been telling women what to do, how to live, how to look. I've seen women in those late 1800s photos with waistlines so dang small they "have" to have had a very uncomfortable corset on underneath. It's no wonder Keira Knightley fainted in the first "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie!
How should women react to "social influencers" wanting to emulate June Cleaver? In an astonished stance, perhaps?
Many women work "outside the home" because they have to, in order to pay the mortgage or rent payment. And some stay at home because their place of work wouldn't pay anything to help with the cost of childcare-- are you conservatives interested in the tradwife reading that?
In the 1970s women got "liberated". Some got divorced. Some decided they wanted a career. Some were single parents who had to work. Maybe a few were tradwives, impractical for many, and no fun if you're home all day with four crying, screaming kids. (I had three kids five and under at one point, with no friendly neighbors or extended family close by. It was exhausting.)
Men "think" they understand how things are for women. And some ditzy Gen Zers (or whatever age group they are) think being an at home wife and mother is a breeze. Yeah? Well guess again.
It should be noted that J. D. Vance's comment about women in Congress having cats and no kids is only partly right. Congress either has women with grown kids, OR, with most of them, they have worked for employers who felt profits and long hours were more important than helping pay for childcare or some time away from the job so that the women could meet their child's needs.
So, who can we blame for women in society with less kids and less time to be domestic?
Blame male employers and legislators. Blame men!