The Traditional Five Stages of Grief
Grieving the loss of a loved one brings waves of different emotions and feelings. One moment you may be feeling anger at the world for its unfairness. The next moment you may simply not believe any of it has really happened. Such a wild swing of emotions is very common. This article outlines the five stages of grief to assist in better understanding the emotions faced when grieving the loss of a loved one.
STAGE ONE: DENIAL AND ISOLATION
Denial is usually the first, although temporary, defense that a person uses to cope with extreme loss. “This cannot be happening to me.” It is usually quickly accompanied by “I feel fine – leave me alone.” Denial is the refusal to accept the facts of the loss, either consciously or unconsciously. If dealing with death is personal, there is a refusal to take necessary steps to prepare for death, such as a will. If the grief is for someone else, the denial is prolonged by refusing to deal with the consequences of the death: visiting the gravesite, getting rid of personal belongings, or even filing necessary paperwork.
STAGE TWO: ANGER
In this stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue indefinitely. “Why is this happening to me? It is not fair!” People become angry with themselves for how they are coping with the death. They become angry at others, often those closest to them, because the presence of friends often forces them to deal with the emotions. They become angry at a higher power, seeking someone with authority and power to blame for not preventing the death.
STAGE THREE: BARGAINING
Another stage in the grieving process is an attempt to bargain for hope of an extended life. If it is personal, it is likely to be negotiated with a higher power. “Just let me see the birth of my grandchild.” “If you get me through this, I promise I will be a better person.” In this stage, the person understands that death is real, but there is an attempt made to dodge it or delay it.
STAGE FOUR: DEPRESSION
During this fourth stage of grief, the person begins to understand and dwell on the certainty and reality of death. “What is the point of going on?” It is at this point that many individuals become completely stuck. The person may become sullen and silent, refuse to interact with anyone, and spend most of the time alone, crying uncontrollably. This process often allows the dying person to disconnect from the things and people of value.
STAGE FIVE: ACCEPTANCE
In the final stage, the individual begins to figure a way to come to grips with their own mortality or that of their loved one. “I cannot escape this; I may as well become prepared for it.” The person who moves into this stage often feels an incredible sense of dignity and peace in their ability to cope with the inevitable.
This article is an excerpt from eCondolence.com?, the resource for condolences & mourning, for more information on this topic and others tips on how to cope with loss please visit the Learning Center. Also, find expert guidance for expressing condolences and premium sympathy gifts for considerations at eCondolence.com.
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Speaker, Social Justice Advocate, Grief & Trauma Specialist: Helping cope with grief as related to death and dying.
8 年Since Kubler-Ross identified the 5 Stages of Grief other have also added 2 more stages of grief. Kubler-Ross realized that the dying was not provide the best consideration when face with the end of life. She was a pediatrician who worked with psychological patients also. The stages of grief has been very help when doing support groups and individual grief session as they relate understang where the bereaved or the dying patient may be during this time period.
Board Certified Chaplain, CoPastor
8 年Actually Kubler Ross spoke of the five stages of dealing with terminal illness. Her 5 stages have been applied to many areas, grief is one of them, unfortunately. Not all people are angry with death. There is no bargaining with grief.
Condolence and Bereavement at eCondolence.com
8 年While grieving is as unique as a fingerprint, many psychiatrists and counselors recognize that there are certain threads present in the grieving process for most individuals. The concept of the stages of grief was popularized by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross (1926 – 2004), a Swiss American psychiatrist. She was a pioneer in the study of death and was the author of the best-selling book, On Death and Dying, in which she first promoted her theory of five stages of grief.
MA, SPHR, SHRM-SCP Strategic HR | Problem Solving | Employment Compliance
8 年Perfect timing as I just completed an interview on sudden deaths in the workplace and how employers should delicately handle.