A Toxic Leader: Stay and Face Depression or Leave and Go Hungry?

There comes a point in life when we find ourselves trapped between a paycheck and peace of mind. The daily struggle of making ends meet, paying bills, and surviving can often blur the line between what we endure and what we deserve. But when does survival become self-sacrifice? When does the cost of a paycheck become too high to pay?

I found myself in this exact position not too long ago.

At a time when I was jobless, juggling bills, and desperately needing work, I was introduced to a man who promised to help me get on my feet. He didn’t have a job for me right away, but he said he would train me, help me learn, and eventually get me established. I clung to that promise. So when he started sending me YouTube videos to watch and asked me to create affiliate accounts in his name, I complied, even though we had no formal agreement.

Soon, I realized I was doing a lot of work for him—using my internet, my time, and my energy. I was jobless, and this wasn’t even paid work. When I asked for some financial support to cover at least my internet costs, he gave me ￡30 and expected that to cover all my time and effort. I told myself it was temporary, that this would eventually lead to something better.

Then the abuse started.

At the slightest mistake, he would insult me, calling me immature, asking why I wasn’t using common sense. I was doing work I had no experience in, but instead of guidance, all I received were late-night demands and belittling words. Zoom meetings at midnight became a regular occurrence, and while I wasn’t happy, I still held on to the idea that he was helping me, that somehow this was all for my own good.

I kept telling myself, "He’s a good man." But the truth was, every time I spoke up about feeling undervalued or needing compensation for my time, the situation only got worse. He would claim he had "sorted me out" after paying for some of my bills, and that I should dedicate 8 hours of my day to him in return, despite no contract, no agreed-upon pay, and no respect. The insults grew more frequent, and every day I felt smaller, more trapped.

It wasn’t just the work; it was the constant emotional battering that began to eat away at me. My mental health was spiraling, but I felt stuck. I needed him. He promised me money. But deep down, I knew my self-worth wasn’t up for sale.

One day, after another round of insults, I finally broke. I couldn’t take it anymore. I stood up for myself and told him I was no slave. I wasn’t stupid, and just because I needed a job didn’t give him the right to treat me like I was disposable. I told him it was over.

And then... something amazing happened.

The moment I walked away, I felt lighter. Free. Happy. For the first time in weeks, I stayed up until 1 a.m. working on my own brand, and it didn’t feel like work. I wasn’t making a ton of money, but somehow, I managed. I never went hungry, my bills got paid, and I started receiving gigs from my own business. The thing I had been so afraid of: losing his so-called "favor", turned out to be the best decision I ever made.

Why Your Mental Health Matters More Than the Paycheck

It’s easy to justify staying in toxic situations when we feel like we have no other choice. But there are real, life-changing benefits to prioritizing your mental health, even when the paycheck is on the line:

1. Peace of Mind: When you walk away from disrespect, you reclaim your sense of self. You remember that you are worthy of respect and kindness, no matter how dire your financial situation is.
2. Clarity and Growth: Without the constant weight of negativity and verbal abuse, your mind is free to focus on creative solutions and opportunities. You can dedicate time to projects that actually align with your goals and values.
3. Resilience: Walking away doesn’t mean immediate ease, but it builds strength. Every step you take toward valuing your well-being over financial security reminds you that you are capable of more than just surviving—you can thrive.
4. Unexpected Opportunities: When I let go of that toxic relationship, other doors opened. Sometimes, leaving what harms you makes space for what helps you. Opportunities come when you align with what’s best for you.

So now, I pose the question to you:

Will you stay in a job that drains your spirit for the paycheck, or will you leave, trust in yourself, and find happiness—even if it means facing uncertainty?

The choice isn’t easy, but it’s yours to make. Choose wisely, your peace and happiness are worth far more than any paycheck.