The Toxic Habits You Need To Give Up In 2019 To Have a More Fulfilling Life

When I hear the word Toxic, the Britney Spears song pops into my head, but that's not the point of this article. It speaks to my probably embarrassing taste in music.

Toxic is defined as very bad, unpleasant or harmful. On the surface, the habits that I am about to discuss might not appear so toxic, because it's ubiquitous. We all do it, so it must be 'not-so-bad', right?

Wrong! These are the very habits that tend to keep us in a perpetual state of 'stuckness' and maintain mediocrity in life.

1. Procrastination: If I had a dollar for every time, I heard someone say "let me think about it", I would be richer than Bill Gates. There is nothing wrong in taking time to think about things, but often times, thinking about it just means indecision and that in itself is a decision.

Waiting for the perfect time or putting things off until you are ready is the biggest dream killer! The best time to take action is the moment when inspiration hits. You will never be more ready than that time when you are fired up about your idea and you are flowing with energy, excitement and passion. Waiting, leads to doubts and uncertainty and you WILL talk yourself out of it. Take one small action, any action, to get the ball rolling on your idea.

2. Comparing yourself to others: This is the quickest way to kill your joy.

True story: I recently got quoted in an online publication and I was on a high celebrating this huge win, until I saw another coach (whom I adore) was interviewed on Thrive Global. My celebration ended like someone popped all the balloons at a birthday party.

My win seemed to pale in comparison. I thought to myself, "what the hell am I celebrating for? It's nowhere near as impressive or successful as what Lindsay did".

Then I caught myself. I had just taken my huge win and absolutely slashed it down to nothing. How dare I compare my journey to hers? How dare I minimize my accomplishment?

Comparison will keep continue to make us feel empty and unfulfilled in life, because there will always be someone more ahead than us and it's a race that we can never win.

3. Skipping over the small wins: I used to be a chronic discounter. I never truly gave myself credit where credit was due. I felt that giving myself too much credit for anything (whether it was warranted or not) was bad because it meant that I would slow down in some way or become lazy.

I credited my loving husband, my supportive parents, my luck, the stable family that I was born into for all that I had achieved in my life. Yes, they were a huge part of it, but that wasn't ALL of it. I forgot the fact that I had in fact worked for it, followed my heart, faced my fears, taken on challenges, kept showing up.

Where are you not giving yourself credit? Where are you brushing things off as "nothing special" and "that just comes easy to me, so it doesn't count"?

Taking the time to recognize your small wins and celebrating them guarantees that more wins will come, because what you focus on grows.

4. Blaming others for your current problems: It's time to stop blaming our parents, co-workers, childhood, circumstances, country for all the things that are wrong in our life.

Blaming puts the power to change things in the hands of the people you are blaming. If your business is not doing well and you are blaming the state of the economy, then you have surrendered yourself to the fact that your business will not be successful, unless the economy turns around.

As long as you are in blaming mode, you are not in a place to take action to fix the problem.

5. Stuffing your calendar with activities so you aren't faced with 'unproductive time': This is the era of maximum productivity and efficiency, where every second of our 24 hours needs to be packed to prove to the world how focused we are. We love telling people how busy we are, because it makes us feel productive and useful.

We get super uncomfortable when we have down-time or quiet time because we are scared of being on our own with our thoughts and feelings. We also don't want to be seen as 'lazy' or 'lack of social life'.

Being quiet and unproductive is the only way to tune in to what you truly want in life and how to go after it. Quietness leads to self-discovery and connection. If you run away from yourself, you are running away from feeling truly fulfilled.

6. Self criticism and self-judgement - tearing ourselves down is not the way to improve. Being gentle with yourself is a learned skill, especially if you are a perfectionist and a high-achiever.

If nothing you do ever feels good enough, that's toxic to your well-being! Your self talk is intricately linked to your happiness and fulfillment in life. You can read more on this topic HERE.

7. Tolerating the bullshit in your life - from yourself and others. This one might sound harsh, but we put up with so much crap in our life that we don't have to. We put up with lack of money, bad jobs, chronic health problems, bad friendships, disrespectful co-workers, terrible relationships........because we tell ourselves stories like

• this is the way it is for me and always will be
• I don't have a choice
• I am too old to change
• I don't have what it takes
• Who am I to want/have/deserve that?

Newsflash: you have a choice in how your life plays out. You get to have a say in how things turn out for you. YOU are the author of your own story.

You get to say ENOUGH is enough and I deserve more.

Life will keep piling on the crap as long as you are willing to tolerate it. The minute you decide you are done and you are only available for better things, things will start to shift.

I know a lot of you reading this article are on your own personal development journey and I want to hear about the changes you have already made or the ones you are planning on making in 2019.

My mission in life is to help you (powerful, amazing woman), to create lasting, fulfilling success in all areas of your life and help you live and achieve your fullest potential, without the hustle, grind, frustration and the 'soul sucking' routine.

If that sounds like you, I invite you to book a 30 min no obligation call with me to see if Success On Your Own Terms, my new 6 week private coaching is right for you.