“In tough times, everyone has to take their share of the pain.” -Theresa May

Everyone has a plan...until they don’t. I think about all the pain I’ve gone through to get to this point in my life. I wouldn’t trade my journey for anything. I wouldn’t be who I am, if I didn’t go through these painful experiences. From failing in business multiple times to almost going bankrupt early on in my career, I’ve been through it all. Even petty things, like nuisance lawsuits have affected me. The list goes on...investing with bad people and losing lots of money. The most important thing you can do is fight through the pain. Admit you may have messed up and don’t allow it to take over. If you deal with it properly and realize it can’t and won’t discourage you, you can move on with a stronger sense of dignity and calm peace of mind.

I have a few friends who I’ve watched roll up in the corner and surrender to the pain. I hate watching them go through this. When they were rolling, all was good, until the adversity hit. I have one friend who was on top of the world making millions and then he crashed. He started borrowing money from every one of his friends. I lent him some money foolishly. He didn’t save a penny in the hay day. It was sad to witness the self destruction. I tried everything and said everything to help him and it was to no avail. Something I witnessed first hand is the way he used language and the words he chose - they were self destructive. “I can’t come back from this.” If you don’t have positivity, you won’t be able to come back from life’s worst moments. The lesson here is to understand that everyone deals with pain in different ways.

You have to have a will to fight through the discouragement and move up and not allow small things to affect you. The big things on the other hand will cause some setbacks for you, but you need to learn how to effectively and efficiently handle them. Having lived through many instances of adversity as a child, I have special empathy for this circumstance. My parents divorced when I was 5 and my brother and I lived on welfare and food stamps in the Bronx with my mom. I believe that set me up for my success. My friend lived the silver spoon lifestyle and had never had to deal with adversity until it rammed him in the face. Look in the mirror and decide how you’re going to fight. Have people in your corner who can help you deal with your pain. Create a support system and allow friends and family in. Get help and guidance. Believe me, you’re not alone in this battle.

A few tips on handling adversity and pain:

1. Embrace it and change your language
2. Own it
3. Don’t be afraid and panic
4. Use it to your advantage
5. Challenge it
6. Change your attitude
7. Build a network
8. Think
9. Don’t hate - you’re in it for the long run and you have to keep on moving
10. Call a friend (call me!)

We all go through pain in some fashion. It’s how we deal with it and see the light at the end of the tunnel. Remember, stay strong and be proud no matter what happens. It will all work out in the end. I think about Travis, the founder of Uber. He failed so many times and people kept giving him chances until he succeeded. What would I do without UBER??? The moral of the story is TELL YOUR STORY, OWN YOUR ADVERSITY, and believe me, you will be STANDING TALL.