A Touching Story on Republic Day

Happy Republic Day to all. SELFI is a newsletter where I share my reflections on life. Moments where some simple elements stayed on to create a SELFI moment! Moments that force the #voiceinme to express. Today is a Republic Day special. This is a story of love, war, resilience & right attitude!

6 times National Badminton Champion and Arjuna Awardee Damayanti Tambay, a lady I saw on a reality show as a guest had a calm demeanor and a very beautiful smile. Her eyes welled up as the singer dedicated Rang de Basanti to her husband Flt Lt Vijay Vasant Tambay.

?I was curious and googled her and saw two of her interviews which told me the story of this inspirational Lady.

Call it a love story or a story of Courage, it is a story that we as a Nation need to hear especially as we celebrate our Republic Day dedicated to our soldiers and war veterans. Today, she heads the Army Widows Association, sad at times but also grateful for the support she had from her extended family. Her attitude rubs off on you and you have no answers for some of the questions she asks our leaders. Sharing the links of the interviews below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zL2DFOeLaxw (wisdom of Leaders)

Some questions I had were:

Do we acknowledge our soldiers enough?

Do we care for their families?

Do we give them their due for their sacrifices?

Is the media/ social media doing enough?

Is the government compensating the families enough?

While we sit at home and enjoy our holiday today, are we aware of the pain of women like Damayanti Tambay?

This is the story of a lady whose husband was a fighter pilot who went missing in action in the 1971 Indo-Pak war that resulted in the liberation of Bangladesh. later she found out he was a POW. India won the war is what I had read. Her story however made me wonder about the price of victory some of our soldiers and their families had to pay!

The last she saw her husband was December 3, 1971, when the war broke out. She got a message to leave home after having spent three days in the trench and assumed it was her husband who sent the message to tell her to be in the safe confines of her parent’s home. A journey she took from Ambala to her home in Allahabad, little knowing that her life would never be the same again. A few days later, on the Radio she heard certain planes had been shot down and she heard her husband’s name as a prisoner of war. Hopes went alive. This 23-year-old held this hope so close to her heart and waited. Soom the Pakistani newspaper too mentioned him as a Prisoner of War. It is more than 50 years and she still does not know if her husband is alive!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72HDh9Nk-yM&t=1390s (Inside Out)

Listening to her story, these are the life lessons I picked from her:

Hope is the biggest factor that helps you lead life when all else fails. Loved it when she said, she did everything she could and left no opening unattended. She dedicated five decades of her life to Hope. In the process, however, she realized the journeys of less privileged war widows whose cause she could take up, leading her to now become the president of the War Widows Association.

She personifies, Aristotle's words, “Hope is a waking dream.”

Love can be your reason: When asked about her journey she clearly stated her journey as a six-time National Badminton champion. However, she played again when her husband told her to play as his spouse as her earlier awards were with her Maiden name. She did and won! The 18 months with him of discovery and love were the best memories that kept her going. “If I gave up my shining career to find him,” she says, “you can imagine how much I loved him.” She has never regretted her decision of not taking up badminton as a career choice. She was Sports Director at JNU till she retired.

"Where there is love there is life.”- Mahatma Gandhi

Gratitude her fuel: Sharing the role her father-in-law played in encouraging her to learn to ride a two-wheeler or take up a job, she says that he was instrumental in keeping her confidence intact. Her job kept her busy. Her attempts whenever there was a call to be available made her feel grateful for having lived a life of no regrets. Today as she interacts with other war widows, she is grateful for the life she has. The education that helped her get a job, make a difference in the lives of her students and give her a sense of satisfaction.

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity...it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”- Melody Beattie

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Loved that she could look at life and the circumstances with a sense of objectivity and be forthright in asking the questions that remain unanswered. In the midst of all of this, she has her sense of humor in the right dose too. Hats off to this amazing lady who has faced life with Grace and Courage.

Damayanti Tambay defines these words of Mary Anne Radmacher

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”?

?Would love to know what went through your thoughts as you listened to her.

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My Tulu Podcast journey began in December 2023, with Dr. Indira Hegde. A postgraduate degree holder, Dr.Indira Hegde also has done D Lit and is a postgraduate diploma holder in social studies. Dr Indira is a research scholar and has authored three collections of stories, four novels, and an anthology of poems. Her research work “Buntaru Ondu Samajo Samskrutiya Adhyayana,’ has been translated into English. She has been honored with several prestigious awards including Karnataka Janapada Academy Award, Rani Abbakka Award, Kamana Ranga Swami Endowment Award, and Sahitya Academy Award. She also earned the coveted chairmanship of the Mangaluru Taluk Kannada Sahitya Sammelan held at St Agnes College on January 29, 2019. Bunts constitute a dominant caste in the sociocultural landscape of Tulunadu. A conversation series I host is called “Pathergane with Dr. Indira Hegde – conversations on Tulunadu & Bunt Culture”. The uploads are every Monday.

These are the eight episodes so far:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwNvW2jPScY&t=31s ( Episode 1)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JV_M82-3cDM (Episode 2)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSNLD9bJ2xk&t=71s (Episode 3)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9RpSnPCMME ( Episode 4)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dw3usPHEq1s (Episode 5)

https://youtu.be/i8cpb0Fi4AU (Episode 6)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGx5xMcfsYA ( Episode 7)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mf40RuNkoj0 ( Episode 8)

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SELFI is a newsletter where I share my reflections on life. Moments where some simple elements stayed on to create a SELFI moment! Moments that force the #voiceinme to express. Do subscribe if you like what you read and do share it with anyone you think will benefit!

Do contact me if you want to fall in love with your VOICE and vocal presence through one-on-one coaching or if you are looking to facilitate customized leadership programs for your team.

For details do visit https://coachrashmishetty.com/

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