Top Tips for Managing the Holiday Season When Thinking of Separation or already Divorced

Wishing you Happy Holidays,

I hope you are settling in for a bit of Christmas or Holiday spirit despite whatever circumstances you find yourself in.

This month I wanted to provide some?Top Tips for Managing the Holiday Season?based on key issues that come up around this time:

1. January often shows a peak in people filing for divorce. One of the main reasons is the way spouses/partners act during the Christmas period. In emotionally and physically abusive relationships, a narcissistic person can often 'act up' and try to ruin the holiday cheer- they get triggered by their own family history, want more control, and want all the attention. If this situation seems familiar to you or someone you care about, think about how past holiday seasons went and how the person was triggered. Think about how you can protect yourself/loved ones. Visit WomensAid/ MensAid for further advice.

2. In other relationships the stress caused by conflicting pulls from extended family, hosting, and financial pressures can add that final straw to a relationship already on the brink. Before you react take a moment to pause and take some deep breaths. Think about what stressed you in previous years and what you can do to relax more with your direct family this year. Leave space for play, relaxation and fun. A walk together can provide some space to chat about things that are bothering you about the relationship. Reach out to a Relationship Advisor for support and help to mend the cracks. Separation and Divorce should be the last step, not the first.

3. If you are already going through Divorce and are unsure how to share the children during the holiday season a Parenting Plan can help. Santa can go to two households- children from separated families are lucky that Santa often comes to one household on Christmas Eve morning, and another household on Christmas Day morning, or perhaps Boxing Day morning. They get to celebrate for longer with two different families, in their own unique styles. Great memories can still be built for Christmas and the Holiday season with your children if you can be flexible about dates and times at each household. New Year can also become a very special time with new routines and memories if the children are in one household over Christmas and the other over New Year- it's not about which day, or one particular day, it's about what you make of each day over the holidays in your own way.

4. Adding to the last point, too much pressure is put on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Both children and adults can enjoy the fun more if it's spread out over multiple days. Going to special pre-Christmas and other holiday cheer events leading up New Year and other holiday events can reduce the pressure put on separated families. Visits to Santa, Wild Lights at the Zoo, Malahide Castle Wonderlights, Drive-In Christmas Movies, local Christmas Markets and festivals, the local Panto . You can also create your own at-home Christmas festivities- bake gingerbread snowmen, make snow-angel cupcakes, invite the Elf-on-the-Shelf for dinner, put on Christmas music as you decorate the tree and the house in decorations. Have a sing-along or dance-a-thon to silly Christmas songs. Set out family goals for New Year, and do some Gratitude thinking while you're at it.

5. If you're feeling lonely this Christmas look at whether you can do a staycation somewhere, or plan a trip overseas if you feel comfortable doing so. Look up last minute local discounts on Groupon or other last minute travel special locations. See if you can meet up with friends or other family Christmas Eve or Boxing Day even if they are not free on Christmas Day. Watch your favorite comedy to lift your spirits, or plan an at-home spa day for yourself with your favorite book and nice background music so you don't feel alone. Go for a walk in nature. Take some time to organize your life, whatever will give you a sense of accomplishment. Have someone who can support you on call or contacts the Samaritans and SVP if you are very down and they will support you.

I hope the above helped you in whichever situation you are in this Holiday Season.

#divorce #divorceinirelandsummit2022 #melmurphydivorcecoach #divorcecoachingireland #separation

Don't forget that I am giving 60% off all my online courses until December 31st-?use the following link:?https://www.eventbrite.ie/x/the-divorce-in-ireland-summit-2022-tickets-222869287037

I am also putting on?Irelands First Divorce Summit! Divorce in Ireland Summit 2022 will be on Wednesday, February 2nd?during the lunchtime slot- 12PM-2PM- to allow people flexibility to attend- I now many of you are busy at work during the day and even busier at home in the evenings. There will also be a Replay option if you miss any of it.

As a Thank You for following my newsletter I'm offering 10euro off to you if you use the promo code 'VIP' when you or any of your friends or family sign up:?https://www.eventbrite.com/e/222869287037

The Divorce in Ireland Summit: The Hush-Hush Topic Overwhelming Ireland- Let's Talk About Separation and Divorce in Ireland, Advice from Experts, Support and Care.

Divorce is the #1 most stressful life change both adults and children will experience

It causes immense financial and mental stress to families

It can go on for two years or longer

With a 30% increase in divorce rates in 2021, we can no longer stay silent about Separation and Divorce in Ireland

People need emotional support and care

They need answers on what to expect legally, financially and property-wise

They need to understand how to co-parent and manage their children's emotions

They need help overcoming social stigma

Overall, they need support on how to get through the separation and divorce process

In the first of its kind in Ireland, this Divorce in Ireland Summit will have experts in their field covering key topics such as:

-?Key Legal Tips on Divorce in Ireland?from a Family Law Barrister (https://www.facebook.com/charalegal )

-?How to Manage the Children and Co-Parent Effectively?from a Family Expert and lecturer at The Divorce Coaching Academy (www.divorcecoachingireland.com )

-?Managing your Mental Health?through this arduous process form a Mental Health expert

-?Divorce for Men- the main concerns and worries men experience during divorce from a Male Divorce Coach (www.mrdivorcecoach.com )

-?Divorce and Menopause- How Menopause affects relationships from a Menopause Expert and Divorce Coach (www.divorce-doctor.com )

-?Life after Divorce- From an influencer who has divorced twice and is now happily married

There is so much important information packed into these two short hours.

We have planned it during your lunch time to make it easier for you to attend- we know you have busy days and even busier family evenings.

We also know you want privacy. So change your Zoom profile name to 'No Name' and keep your cameras and microphones off.

We will have breakout rooms after each session for you to ask any questions you might have to our experts- make the most of this time to get the support you need.

Do you have a friend, family member or other loved one you support who might benefit from this summit? Is someone supporting you who might benefit from knowing this too? Pass this on to them or invite them along.

Wishing you all the best this Holiday Season- if you have any questions for me please do reach out-?[email protected]