Top Ten Self Saboteurs

In a coaching engagement a question often asked is ‘how do you think you sabotage yourself?’ And this is one of the more difficult questions to answer. Many people are unaware. And others hesitate to share.

It usually needs follow up questions like those below to get clarity.

1.???? What do you feel angry about with yourself?

2.???? What are the things that you have postponed for a long time?

3.???? What comes in the way of your goals being achieved?

4.???? What quality do you frequently wish for in yourself?

5.???? What are the negative words that you use to describe yourself?

At its core self-sabotage refers to behaviors or thought patterns that hold one back and prevent from doing what you want to do. It can be a serious condition or a disruptive pattern that an individual has come to believe about himself / herself.

Curiosity drove me to check if there was a pattern in the responses that people have shared in coaching conversations. I went through responses that were given to this question and made ten groups from them.

1.???? Over Thinking

·?????? I think too much. I over analyse. I cannot take decisions. I am always asking for more data.

2.???? Micro-Management

·?????? I cannot prioritise. I cannot drop small things. I am always short of time. I get lost in detail. I over plan.

3.???? Impatience

·?????? I cannot wait for things to be completed. I get obsessed. I rush into tasks. I keep checking progress multiple times. I get irritated easily.

4.???? Ego

·?????? If questioned I become upset. If I am given feedback I resist. If challenged I become aggressive. If my self-image is hurt I get worried. I lose interest in projects if my senior questions me. I go into my shell frequently. I remember insults for a long time.

5.???? Perfection

·?????? I like to make things perfect. I spend too much time on tasks. I am never satisfied. I become over critical of people around me. I beat myself frequently for non-achievement. I ask too many questions. I miss schedules. I cannot handle ambiguous situations.

6.???? Procrastination

·?????? I hang on to decisions till the last moment. I revisit decisions often. I get delayed on schedules. I like to see what other people are saying before moving. I cannot take risks so keep postponing such decisions.

7.???? Lack Of Trust

·?????? I do not trust my team. I think new people are incompetent. I cannot work with people. I cannot hold on to my people. I always double check what my peers are saying. I believe people are basically lazy.

8.???? Giving Up

·?????? I give up too soon. I don’t speak up. I am not assertive enough. I feel frustrated. I become fatigued and tired. I do not like to follow up.

9.???? Lack of Listening

·?????? I am not able to hold my attention. People don’t talk to me. I jump to conclusions. I cannot read the room. I cannot make out what people are not saying.

10.? Looking good

·?????? I try too hard to look good. I don’t question decisions. I agree with my seniors. I do not pick up difficult tasks. I do not take risks.

?

Quick Question - What would your response be if asked the same question? And what group(s) would you fall in? Of course, your response could be something outside this list also. And don’t overthink the answer!!

?