Top reasons for misunderstanding communication

A communication leak or a communication gap happens when the speaker's intent is distorted in the listener's mind. There are many reasons behind such misinterpretation of intent. It could emanate from the speaker or the listener.

?Assuming the speaker is articulate, clear and has limpid intent, why does the listener wrongly interpret the message? The message could be advice, a command, direction or a suggestion. Some of us may react well to requests but baulk at orders or directives. The intonation of the voice may prevent us from decoding the actual intent.

?Whatever may be the reason, the cost of misinterpretation ranges from minor to life threatening. The consequence of such a misconstruction may seem inconsequential. On the other hand, we may make choices and implement actions based on the wrong belief, and the cascading effect of a minor choice may be a significant avoidable adverse event.

?The key ingredients to proper understanding are hearing and listening. But beyond listening, there are myriad factors that may affect our interpretation.

?We may be in an agitated state of mind. Our emotions may be running high because the other person has said something which triggered our pent up feelings.

?One may be suffering from perceptual biases or may have strong opinions and beliefs. These beliefs and prejudices ensure that we listen to what we want to hear, not what others want to say. We create a convenience zone, and we continue to do what we always do, irrespective of what others say.

Unfortunately, many of us are not even aware of such beliefs, biases, prejudices, and pent-up emotions in our lives. As a result, we underestimate the true impact of such hidden enemies. They can torment us lifelong and lead us astray from our potential, happiness, and actual paths.

How do we set ourselves free from the consequences of misconstrued connotations? The first step is always awareness. We need to know what we misunderstand and the extent of such a malaise. When does it occur, and does it depend on how the other person speaks? Does it stir long buried feelings and unresolved emotions? How do we respond? What do we think?

Hidden emotions and buried feelings are always challenging to tackle. They are like the unseen elephant in the room that occupies space and prevents freshness from entering our lives. Confronting them and breaking free requires concerted efforts and a clear intent to break free.

Sometimes it may be hidden opinions or prejudices that prevent us from grasping the actual situation or what was actually said. Again to deal with such problems, awareness is critical. We need to be aware that we have misconstrued, and the cause of misconception is a particular belief or a bias. Once this awareness and acceptance of the situation dawn on us, it is easier to move ahead. Sometimes it may not be prejudice but the truth. In either case, it is important to articulate our stand if there is an incongruence between the intents of the speaker and the understanding of the listener. In that space of speaking out with awareness, we create a gap. A gap that tells us whether what we perceive arises from a belief or a knowledge of the situation. If it is a belief, we may find it easier to abandon it and embrace a newer way of thinking.

It is also possible that we are aware of our beliefs but feel powerless against their onslaught. Or we know what we have to say but withhold it because of fear of expression. What will others say? What will they think of me? Will I be liked less because of what I say? All these impediments may prevent confrontation. When we go beyond, confront our fear and act against it, we experience wonderment. What we imagined or feared would happen rarely happens. Our actions and expressions can be more straightforward and transparent when we arm ourselves sagaciously.

We then hear, feel, and comprehend what was meant to be understood. Then, armed with the truth, we can make appropriate decisions and choices.