Top Five Conflict Resolution Tools for Your Employment Relationship

As a mediator and communications trainer, I love spotlighting the power of peaceful conflict resolution on World Conflict Resolution Day, coming up on October 17th.? In this post, I share my top five tips on working through conflict in the employment relationship.? I know that most nannies don’t quit or get fired because of a child-related issue, it's usually due to problems in the employment relationship. By improving these relationships, we can create more long-term, positive nanny-parent teams, which benefits everyone—especially the children.

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Put a Clear, Comprehensive Contract in Place OK, I’m not just saying this because I’m the developer of the A to Z Nanny Contract.? A comprehensive contract is a framework for a shared vocabulary (e.g. quality care, household duties), a shared understanding of processes (e.g. notice for PTO, reimbursement for expenses), and confirmation of the agreements made around the employment terms (e.g. overtime, taxes, responsibilities).? I see it every day with clients, when details are clearly defined in a contract, there are fewer conflicts.?

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Check In Regularly I know, I know, who has the time? I was a nanny for 30 years so I know regular check-ins are great in theory but hard to make happen in the real world of conflicting schedules, depleted energy, and never-ending distractions.?? So let’s redefine the check-in.? You don’t have to carve out 30 or 45 minutes to sit down together and have a kid free conversation.? Use check-in questions to prompt focused, honest dialogue and get creative around how to connect, use text, email, a communication app, or video conferencing.? (If there’s a big conversation that needs to be had, I do recommend that face-to-face conversation.)? When you have regular check-ins, you’re able to handle questions, misunderstandings or conflicts as they come up rather than letting them snowball into emotionally charged, overwhelming challenges.???

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Offer Acknowledgement The best, first step in any conversation is acknowledgement of the other person’s ideas, feelings, needs, wants, perspectives, and experiences.? That doesn’t mean you’d feel or do the same thing if you were in their shoes.? It simply means you have a genuine interest in understanding them better and you recognize their experience as real and important.? Acknowledging another let’s them feel heard, seen, and valued, basic human needs we all share.? From that place of respect, resolving the conflict you’re facing becomes so much easier.?

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Use I Statements I statements are communication 101 and in theory, a simple concept.? However, they can be hard to use in practice, especially in high-stakes or emotionally charged situations.? Conflicts are by definition, a disagreement with another person so it often feels intuitive (and comfortable) to focus on that person or your differences with them.? However, using I statements, staying focused on your feelings, your perspectives, and your needs gives your message a much better chance of being heard.? I statements help prevent others from feeling defensive, disrespected, misunderstood, or entrenched in their position.? ?????

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Give the Benefit of the Doubt When we’re facing conflict, we often assume the worst about the other person.? We imagine they don’t respect, value, understand, or care about us.? We imagine they’re not willing to see things from our perspective, to negotiate in good faith, or to come to a fair agreement.? Assigning negative motivations to the other person is a sabotaging mindset that makes resolving a conflict much, much harder.? When you give the other person the benefit of the doubt, you enter the conversation genuinely curious about what’s going on with them, respectful in your tone and language, and open to solutions that work for both sides.?

Communication and conflict resolutions skills are not things you instinctively know or don’t know, have or don’t have.? No matter where you’re starting from, they are skills you can learn, develop, and become competent in.?

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During this week to celebrate Conflict Resolution Day, I’m offering my two most popular trainings and my upcoming communication training at 50% off.? All include must have communication and conflict resolution tools and strategies.

Connection Centered Discipline https://nannycarehubacademy.com/connection-centered-parenting-and-caregiving/

Becoming a Top Notch Family Assistant https://nannycarehubacademy.com/becoming-a-family-assistant/

How to Say It: Practical Tools and Conversation Scripts for Challenging Conversations In-Home Professionals Face https://nannycarehubacademy.com/product/how-to-say-it-practical-tools-and-scripting-for-challenging-conversations-in-home-professionals-face/

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