Some choice answers from Roxane Gay's Work Friend advice column in The New York Times
- "You don’t need to explain why you need one hour a week away from the office. Just tell your supervisor you need an hour of personal time each week and that you’ll return to the office after your personal time, as needed. And good for you for making time for therapy. I go twice a week. It is blocked off in my calendar so my staff knows I am unavailable. The appointments we must keep for ourselves are as important as any others." (full column)
- "There is a lot of professional comfort in the familiar even when the familiar is disappointing. You recognize that you’re at a crossroads, which means you want a change. Yes, you should leave the comfort of what you know and see how you fare at this new organization. It’s not that the new employer will be perfect. In fact, you are leaping into the great unknown, but I see that as an opportunity rather than a risk. You know how you’re treated at your current employer. You know you deserve better." (full column)
- "You are looking for and you deserve closure, but you will never get it from your former employers. They do not care about your safety as evidenced by all the issues you and your colleagues experienced. Don’t worry about what’s going on at that workplace. You are no longer there. As a contract employee, you have no notice to give. You can, if it comes up, share your experiences with potential future employees of that company so they are well informed about who they might be working for." (full column)
- "It’s important to have standards, but sometimes professionalism is more of a demand for control than it is a set of expectations about conduct. I suppose, as I get older, I get more permissive. Or, really, I just care so much less about what other people are doing that isn’t my business and doesn’t negatively affect me. I don’t get a judgmental vibe from your letter but it might be freeing to care just a little less about such things." (full column)
- "Firing an employee who isn’t doing his job, after repeated warnings, isn’t the wrong thing. It is unfortunate, but you can’t be more invested in his success than he is. And if you put him on some kind of probation, you are giving him a final opportunity to improve. If he doesn’t, and you have to let him go, you can offer some kind of severance to soften the blow. It’s important to remember that sometimes, you have to do the right thing for yourself, too." (full column)
