The top 5 things I would do if I were Prime Minister

As the forthcoming election in the UK looms ever closer I have taken to musing on where the priorities of the next government should lie. We know that there are some very serious issues to consider including the replacement for Trident nuclear weapons, the future of the NHS, and major conflict in the Middle East

Here are my top 5 priorities for legislation were I to be Prime Minister on May 8th

1. 'Britain’s Got Talent' to be Compulsory TV Viewing     

Let us not judge others by the cynicism of modern society and, instead, delight in their achievements. The overweight guy who can sing like an angel, the single mother who can dance like Ginger Rogers, and the street gang that have clawed their way out of adversity and poverty to play their instruments all the way onto national television

The triumph of human spirt, endeavour and hope over what can often be rubbish ability is a delight to behold. Equally, of course, there are those carefully crafted and exploited ‘back stories’ which might be artificially embellished but which nevertheless serve to illustrate the ability of human beings to overcome handicap, prejudice and bigotry.

If I were Primer Minister I would legislate that BGT is compulsory viewing with a free supply of tissues for those moments of joy, laughter and amazement that only human ambition can provide

2. Expel HSBC Bank from the UK    

If I were the new Prime Minister I would expel HSBC bank and all of its subsidiaries from the UK

This is the bank that hosted the internationalisation of illegal tax avoidance schemes in their Swiss operation and who, at various times, have also been convicted of laundering money for Mexican drug cartels and who played a significant role in the sub prime mortgage scandal in the US which was a core root cause of the recent worldwide recession

At no time has the current CEO of the bank accepted any personal responsibility for these activities. Like many other banks and financial institutions it is clear that HSBC just don’t ‘get it’ and they continue to believe that they are immune from the law, morality, and focussing on the real interests of their customers

By ‘threatening’ to decamp elsewhere to avoid the ‘over burdensome’ regulatory environment and a bank tax reputedly costing just ￡500m (HSBC made ￡12bn in profits last year after paying over ￡1.5bn in fines and settlements), the leadership of HSBC have demonstrated their overwhelming rejection of the principles of corporate honesty, integrity and fairness.

Go and trade elsewhere HSBC - this country does not need you

3. Restore the size of Wagon Wheel Biscuits   

If I were PM I would immediately restore the size of Wagon Wheels to their former glory (and give the corporate powers one hundred lines – ‘I must not attempt to fool the consumer into spending more money for less reward’)

Those of us who have achieved a certain age remember the glory days of Wagon Wheels – a delicious confection of chocolate with a gooey cream and almost fudge-like interior that evoked images of Michelin starred restaurants, cordon bleu chefs and stunning repast (they did if you lived in the North West – this is as good as it got!)

What has happened? Corporate marketing people and financiers have tricked us by reducing the size of my precious Wagon Wheel but keeping the price the same. Their margins have gone up and my satisfaction has gone down. This sleight of hand has been visited on the British people without explanation, justification or integrity

If I were Prime Minister I would immediately restore the size of Wagon Wheels and demand that corporations sell their goods and services with a new focus on those rather strange entities that many seem to have forgotten - the customer.

4. Launch a Public Education Programme to Explain the Real Meaning of a 'Billion'

Politicians, economists and media commentators delight in telling us that the annual deficit (i.e. borrowing requirement) is ￡90 billion and the country's debt is ￡1.4 trillion, due to rise to ￡1.6 trillion over the next few years

What does this mean?

A billion is one thousand million. Ninety billion is ￡90,000,000,000 and is the amount we borrow annually to keep the UK ship afloat. Expressed in seconds of time 90,000,000,000 seconds would take around 2850 years to expire – which is more years on the planet than have expired since we began counting from the time of Jesus’s birth (actually rumoured to be in September and not December 25th if you track the movements of the stars at the time)

A trillion is one million million. The country’s current debt is ￡1,400,000,000,000. If stacked on top of each other in ￡10 notes the resulting column would be almost 1,000 miles high.

When discussing the future of the economy, the NHS, defence, education and all those other good things that we all want it will be one of my first acts as PM to demand that the country and politicians actually understand the reality of  what they are talking about. Every time the word a 'billion' is proffered it must be given its full value - one thousand million - and a compulsory silence of 5 seconds will then be required in order that everyone may consider the implications

I offer no commentary on whether this level of debt and annual borrowing is a good thing or a bad thing but as PM I will expect my colleagues in the House of Commons and the electorate at large to have a vague notion of reality and simple maths.

5. Triple the amount that MP’s are paid      

Corruption, manipulation and avoidance of responsibility are more likely to occur where employees are undervalued, underpaid and demotivated. The right pay for the right job is simply a 'hygiene factor' in any theory of human motivation that I have ever seen

As Prime Minister I want my MPs to be some of the best brains in the country, highly motivated, and to have a feeling of tremendous self-worth. Their job (which would be full time) is to manage the fortunes of the entire UK population and to determine seriously weighty issues such as war, the economy, and the future of the environment. My MPs will need to work 24/7 to deliver enormously complex solutions to seriously difficult issues in this country and abroad

But as any corporate manager will tell you. If you pay peanuts you get………..!

Sort the Basics

I am sure you appreciate that the somewhat 'tongue in cheek' list above is actually intended to illustrate some of the core principles by which companies and businesses of all sizes and shapes should operate. In many aspects the UK is simply a rather large company with a CEO called the Prime Minister

So whether it be the claims department of a major insurer, the marketing department of a supplier, or UK plc,  the underlying values remain the same even as corporate goals vary enormously. As I travel and consult in my own small world of insurance claims and supply chain whilst seeking to input whatever wisdom I may have accumulated over the last 20 years, I am often surprised that few people ask the core question of any business, system or structure. The same could also be said for the UK government

Namely is this the right thing to do for my customers, our employees or our shareholders? In the event that you might think there is conflict then opt for customer driven solutions which will, in any case, result in the best long term outcomes for all the stakeholders

What Would You Do?

For me, its all about core values - of government, business and society - but what about you? If you were Prime Minister on May 8th what would you do?