The Top 4 Most Common Negotiation Failures

Negotiation Mistakes

By Don Fieselman | Don Fieselman

1. Staying in the moment

It’s easy to prepare for a negotiation ahead of time. Staying in the moment and using The Black Swan Skills during it is another task altogether.?

One of the most common failures people encounter in negotiations is that they forget everything they prepared for and revert back to what they’re comfortable with. Instead of using the Black Swan skills , they revert back to asking direct questions, or making it all about themselves and their agenda…instead of making it about the other side.

This is where self-awareness comes in. Do some self-Labeling to get yourself back in the seat. “It seems like I keep talking over her every time she brings that up.” Correct yourself and lean into the Black Swan skills.?

Remember that it’s a process to use the skills. Try using a mix of Labels and Mirrors. Test out a Summary.? If you feel yourself starting to panic, stay calm, stay in the moment, use Dynamic Silence, and trust the process.?

2. Reacting to an Attack?

Another common failure is when people react to an attack instead of responding.?

Attacks usually come from three places:

• The other side is under a lot of pressure.
• The other person feels like you’re not listening to them or they’re not being understood.
• The other person is manipulating you.?

So often people view attacks as the start of a fight instead of a knee-jerk reaction to inner or external pressures. That’s why it’s the most common time for things to fall apart and for people to forget to use the Black Swan skills.?

Remember though, these skills are meant to shine during especially tough negotiations. If anything, you should be kicking them into overdrive when it gets tough.?

It goes along with the first failure—not staying curious. Throw out a “Seems like you have a reason for saying that” to disarm the attack entirely.?

3. Misusing Labels?

One of the things I’ve seen as a coach, and even struggled with when I first started, is misusing Labels? as an opinion, a judgment, or...... Read the full article here: https://www.blackswanltd.com/the-edge/the-top-4-most-common-negotiation-failures