Top 12 tips for working with a mentor

I have met and worked with thousands of people in my 35 years of business life. No doubt the next 35 will be equally as exciting, but with one big difference. What I have learned in my first 35 years can be used to support my next 35 years, though wisdom, experience, knowledge and competence. This is also something that I can pass on to those around me as I continue to mentor and advise business owners and leaders. Having been a mentee and a mentor, I want to share the sum of my experiences and what being a good mentor means.

1.    Be a trusted friend first.

To truly get mutual value in your mentee/mentor relationship, it makes it a hell of a lot easier if you get on with each other and begin your relationship as equals. Before diving in and trying to advise and solve problems, invest additional legwork in relationship building at the outset. Spend some time getting to know the person behind the manager. You will have deeper and more meaningful encounters and you'll get to discussing the real stuff if you have built trust first and have a solid footing to work from. Chase the relationship and not the fees.

2.    Have a plan

By establishing the long-range position your client wants to reach and the goals they aspire to, you will be able to set out the tactics and strategies by priority and resource and know what needs to be done, by when and by who. Try to maintain focus and discipline.

3.    Everything is important, but it’s how you prioritize it. 

You have arguably been where the mentee has not, so you should better understand that if your mentee is focusing on changing the office layout as their major priority, you might have to remind them what the true priority is and where the focus should be. Keeping your mentee and the team on track is a task in itself as most of what you are doing is over and above their day job. Remember that your involvement is extra, so careful planning of time and resource is critical. Try and have a regular slot for catching up.

4.    Hold them to account. 

This is really hard to do with real meaning! Your mentee does not work for or report to you; you are equal in many ways, but if something that they should have done, doesn’t happen, it is easy to just push out the deadline and gloss over things. However, do your best to not let them get away with it. Talk to them and help them to understand the consequences of inaction; perhaps give them an example of something similar that happened in your background, when you did not take action.

5.    Give visionary context. 

A mentee will often think they are alone and unique in their situation, but you can reassure them that what they are experiencing could and often is just “how it is” and what is perfectly normal in their line of business. You are telling them what to expect as their journey unfolds. A good example is a business owner who is not a natural salesperson, but has elected to become one. Handling the enormous amount of rejection that comes with being in sales is just something she or he has to get used to and it’s not personal; it’s just business.

6.    Hands on and hands off

Sometimes, you have to walk the walk and get stuck in. Telling a mentee that they have to for example, produce a 13-week cashflow forecast, or update the sales pipeline is fine, but also know when you can and must go further and say “OK….let’s do this together, now!”. Equally there are times, when you have to step back and allow your mentee to do what’s needed, but knowing that you are there in the background if they want help. Balancing the support and being flexible is the best way to enhance your relationship. 

7.    Deliver outcomes and actions

The devil is in the detail and the level of questioning and the focus you apply to get to the bottom of the real challenges your clients have will determine how successful you both become. You have to be able to quantify your deliverables (to the extent that you can). Be specific and take detailed notes and deliver exact feedback on what needs to be done and what is expected from both parties. Remember you are not a silver bullet. Try to establish the long-range position you and your client want to reach and show them the tactics and actions to get there. Show them the journey planner and how together, you will get there.

8.    Don’t pay lip service

A good mentor reassures along the way, but often times, you may have to ask questions in slightly less proportion to the number of answers you give. A mentor is not actually a coach or a therapist; you have been where she or he is as a business leader/owner, so you should be able to use your judgement to make an informed decision to tell them how it is and what to do. Mentoring is accelerating progress and ensuring your mentee avoids the blind spots. Sometimes you just have to tell them to “take the next left or the next right” as you’ve been down that road and not let them try and find out for themselves.

You’re not paid to blow smoke, so be tough, honest and be real and look beyond what you are just told, by listening intently to the challenges. If you get a sense of hyperpaly in your discussions, ”fess up” and call them out on the detail and meaning. If you are exploring and telling them what they already know, then you are NOT doing a good enough job. You get paid to add value to your mentee and they want outcomes…..period!

9.    Always find a problem or a challenge. 

Don’t coast along; push your mentee to look beyond the obvious and really open up on how they feel and what they have to deal with. Your role is to accelerate their performance, so you should be pushing and cajoling to do more and achieve more. By always seeking out what is next will also strengthen your relationship and drive more performance for both parties.

10. Know beforehand when the value runs out

Nothing lasts forever, so recognize when the task or project you have been working on has reached or is reaching its’ logical conclusion or perhaps when the relationship needs an injection of innovation or energy. Be open and honest with each other, just as you would in a personal relationship. Try and find opportunities to lead into other areas and new challenges. You have done the heavy lifting in building a great relationship and establishing trust, so find ways to keep working and growing together. 

11. Have fun. 

You are a trusted friend and a confidant too. Go out for a drink and a bite to eat and shoot the breeze; It’s not all work, work, work and some of the best thinking can come from the most relaxed of environments.

12. Share in the success

Not every session has to be focused on the next part of the challenge and you are not just a “fixer”. Make sure you have a reciprocal and constant feedback loop, so you know when it’s time for sharing congratulations and recognition. If you’re any good as a mentor, there should be quite a few of these!!

Above all, be passionate, enjoy what you do and care lots about the outcomes........have fun!