Top 10 Things for a First Responder to Consider When Thinking of Retirement

Jason M. Palamara and I are co-authoring a book on first responder wellness with a focus on policing. Jason is a retired detective and I am the daughter of two LEOs whose father died by suicide in retirement. Although we are grateful to the many first responders who have shared their wisdom for our upcoming book, we are at the point where we editing. This morning, I needed to edit the content for Lt. David Dachinger (Retired). Although some of what David said will be in the book, we thought it would be valuable to share in its entirety.?His wisdom and experience is appreciated.

1) Appreciate this moment, because all good careers will inevitably end.

We’re privileged and blessed to have a service-based career, finding deep satisfaction helping others and being part of a “family” or “tribe.”?By the grace of God, we stay healthy and get to work another shift. A twenty or thirty year career can pass swiftly.?Many of us are fortunate enough to finish our career and retire on our own terms. Some, unfortunately, retire prematurely due to external circumstances. The reality is, whether by choice or circumstances beyond our control, one day we will walk out of the department for the last time as an active responder. It’s time to move on and begin a new chapter called “Life 2.0”.? The following can help us prepare: Appreciate the job now. (Remember how you felt about the job as a rookie?) Focus on how blessed we are to be part of a team, helping people who need us in an emergency. Start to plan for retirement from day one of your career. Always keep the retirement horizon in view, especially as you move into the last 5 years of a career. Take stock of your skills and talents, all of which will give you purpose and potential income after you retire.?????????

2) Reach the finish line with gratitude.

There are no guarantees we’ll have a linear path from hire to retire. We may intend to have a 25-year career, but a career-ending physical injury, officer-involved shooting, or cumulative post-traumatic stress resulting in burnout can change everything in an instant. Gratitude is a powerful way to stay positive and resilient throughout the good and bad days. Start a daily gratitude practice. It only takes a few minutes. On your drive into work, verbally or mentally list 3 things you are grateful for (examples: “I’m grateful my job has great healthcare insurance”, “I’m grateful that Tim is my riding partner today”, “I’m grateful I get to drive a badass Cruiser or Fire Engine or Ambulance”. Don’t end your career being bitter and complaining, strive to be part of the solution and not the problem.

3) Have a Tactical Financial Plan.

Become your own financial advocate.?Learn how your pension and other retirement benefits work. Find a financial advisor you feel comfortable with, who understands estate planning and the nuances of public safety job benefits. Start planning and investing for your future self and family early in your career. Although nobody wants to consider it, have a contingency plan for unexpected retirement and untimely death. Consider how retirement (or losing you) will impact your family and spouse, financially and logistically.?

4) Prepare for Identity Crisis and the Loss Of Tribe.

Remember, Cop or Firefighter or Dispatcher or EMT is a JOB, it is not who you ARE. Actively cultivate your relationships and hobbies outside work, building connections through community and purpose. Remember that strong family relationships can support your loss of identity when you’re no longer responding and no longer part of the team. Understand that in retirement, you are a “regular person” now.?You may begin to feel like an outsider, which can lead to feelings of loss, lack of purpose and isolation. Practice daily self-care to keep your vitality bucket full, using tools like exercise, quality sleep, good nutrition, mindfulness, and self-love. Find ways to make a contribution to others, such as joining civic organizations, volunteering at dog rescues, and mentoring rookies.?

5) Recognize That You Will Grieve The Loss.

After dedicating so much of our lives and our time to being a first responder, we may experience a rapid, jarring shift from active to retired. Thoughts like “I’m no longer needed” and the feelings of loss after belonging to a great mission can be acutely painful. Give yourself the gift of grace and compassion as you allow time to decompress and reorient to your new life. It is common for unresolved emotions and post-traumatic stress to bubble up after retirement. If necessary, seek a culturally competent therapist to resolve these traumas, so they don’t cause you any more pain. Mitigate the loss of your work family by spending quality time with your first family.?They supported you through your career, while you trained, worked weekends, holidays, missed special occasions and came home exhausted. Give them the gift of your presence and undivided attention now that you’ve retired.?

6) Find Ways to Maintain Connection.

In reality, the department is a place of work. It’s not personal, but the department’s mission must go on, and they WILL fill your spot with someone new, so they can continue to fulfill “the mission”. As the saying goes, “Out of sight, out of mind”. Most responders we’ve spoken with said that after they retired, they only heard regularly from a few co-workers. If maintaining a connection with your responder work family is important, be proactive. Most of my friends from work are usually busy working lots of overtime, so I make the effort to reach out to them regularly. I also started organizing retiree dinners every other month. They help me to stay connected and socialize with other retired firefighters from our department. Consider mentoring young responders who can benefit from your experience and perspective.?It can be fulfilling to invest and believe in them by sharing your knowledge.?Join a peer support team that utilizes retirees, or volunteer with a support organization (for example, 1-800-COPLINE?, which uses retired police officers to answer support hotlines).?

7) Stay Vigilant About Your Mental and Emotional Health.

Without a sense of purpose, feelings of isolation, hopelessness, helplessness, and depression can manifest. We may even question our reason for being, and feel we have nothing to offer anymore.?We now have significantly more time to think about everything, including unaddressed emotional baggage accumulated during our career, such as betrayal trauma, institutional abandonment or complex PTSI. Be aware that after our responder career is done, nothing is holding us professionally accountable anymore. We may be more prone to behaviors like DUI, suicidal ideation and domestic violence. Give yourself time and space to work and grow through all these things, whether through therapy like EMDR or via a mindful spiritual practice. Learn to define your sense of purpose and live in a new way. The world is filled with opportunities to help people in need. Use your gifts, talents, and lessons learned to meet one of those needs in the world.?Occupy your time with things you’re passionate about.?

8) Be Aware of the Impact Your Retirement Has On Your Family and Friends.

Now that you’ve left the department, are you going home to a healthy relationship with your spouse and children??If your relationships weren’t healthy to begin with, having all this newfound time at home is not going to fix anything, it may only magnify issues and make them worse. In retirement, you will probably have significantly more time with your family. Lots of time together may not always be optimal for domestic peace and harmony. In retirement, we may have to re-define what quality family time looks like, and learn how to create a healthy balance with our loved ones.?Does your spouse need time and space to do their own thing, or can you both easily hang out together 24/7? Retirement can be an opportunity to resolve lingering tensions and grievances in family relationships. Find a competent counselor or therapist to help you and your loved ones repair connections and build a healthy life together.

?9) Find Your New Purpose.

When we leave the profession, we’re just retiring one part of our life.?It’s a golden opportunity to re-invent and do something new. Many retired responders find a new career where they can help others, such as social worker, nurse, nutrition coach, skills instructor, job promotion coach, or peer support team member. Others find purpose speaking at industry conferences, sharing their challenges and wins to inspire others. As responders, we have unique problem-solving and people skills, plus valuable real-world knowledge and insights.?Find a way to put them to good use in your new life chapter as you discover your new purpose.

10) Go through the open doors of life.

Before I made the decision to retire, I thought I had a plan for what I was going to do after firefighting.?I had been invited to produce meditation videos for incarcerated prisoners in LA. It made the difficult decision to retire seem manageable. However, upon retirement, Plan A didn't work out. After regrouping, I found a “Plan B”: producing and hosting a first responder wellness podcast, which ultimately turned out to be a great fit and filled me with purpose. Life is constantly presenting us with curveballs, decisions, and choices.?We can think of them as doors opening into new opportunities. We’ll never know what's on the other side of those open doors unless we step through and explore.?That may mean departing from our comfort zone, or contemplating new activities we’d never considered. In retirement, always stay curious, and keep an open mind.?Your best “Life 2.0” may be waiting for you through that open door.