Top 10 Reasons Relationships Breakdown
Darleen Barton Dr
Principal & Founder Dr (hc) @ DIPAC Est 2009 Private Practice | Counselling Therapist | Accredited Mediator| Conflict Resolution |Life Business Executive Coaching People Development
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The latest stats from Relationships Australia 2020-2021 are in:?
26% breakdowns are caused by financial stress
25% breakdowns are caused by communication difficulty
23% breakdowns are caused by different expectations and values
22% breakdowns are caused by a lack of trust
14% breakdowns are due to growing apart over time
12% breakdowns are due to a lack of commitment
11% breakdowns are due to infidelity
7%?breakdowns are due to not spending enough time together
6%?breakdowns are due to drug/alcohol abuse
6%?breakdowns are caused by work pressures
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Whilst these percentages are pretty accurate and what I see in my practice, what most of us fail to recognize, there is a back story to the behaviours leading to relationship breakdowns.
What is the primary reason I hear you ask??It is your training …
What do I mean by training? Training comes from how you grew up... Your thoughts, decisions, actions come from somewhere. Then you take a few blows from other hurt people over time, at school "Bullies" in the workplace, at the gym, in the bedroom, in the board room adding to your character changing your view of the world again. Some become very resentful, some sad, angry some feel helpless. There is no rule of thumb, we are all individuals none of us the same.
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Tip: Hurt People Hurt People?
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Let’s do a short quiz to find out a little more about your training.
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1.?Were you taught about the value of money from an early age, did you learn to budget, saving Y/N
2.?Did you see your parents communicate well without shouting, name-calling, stonewalling, or gaslighting when faced with adversity, moments of stress, or disagreement Y/N
3. Were you taught about values, expectations, setting goals, planning Y/N
4. Did you witness your own parents lying to you e.g. "don't tell your mother or father” did your parents not follow through on what they said they were going to do??Y/N
5.?Did you hear people talking about growing apart for their reason for separation Y/N
6.?Did you have strong role models teaching you the importance of the word commitment and family Y/N
7. Have you ever experienced the feeling of abandonment, being a burden, or not being chosen in your own family Y/N
8. Did your parents spend time together where you witnessed them caring and nurturing one another, in a serve and return relationship Y/N
9. Was your childhood home both emotionally safe and physically safe for you Y/N
10. When you were growing up did your parents have to work long hours either to make ends meet or live up to the Jones Y/N
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Now let's do a quick check-in on your self-esteem- how many of these can you relate to?
? I’m not good enough
? I can’t get anything right
? I’m stupid
? I’m inferior
领英推荐
? I’m always angry
? I’m worthless
? I’m insignificant
? I’m a bad person
? I’m unattractive (ugly, fat, etc.)
? people who love me leave me
? I’m a failure
? I don’t deserve anything good
? There’s something wrong with me
? I do not measure up to others
? I’m always wrong
? I’ve done things wrong and I'm ashamed?
? I’m abnormal
self-esteem?is different from confidence... Self-esteem is what you tell yourself about you "self-talk" your negative self-coach on rewind in your head. Confidence is your performance at any time you need it (for some)
It's your Training & your Self- Esteem which play a big part in the success or demise of your in your relationship/family.
Who are you being in your relationship? The only person you will ever change in life is YOU.
Kindest Regards
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Darleen Barton | Amazon NO 1 Best Selling Author
Practitioner
Address Servcorp offices-?Level 1 The Realm, 18 National Circuit, Barton ACT 2600
Phone??0261983423
Email: [email protected]
Website?www.dipac.com.au
Mediator?Nationally Accredited | NMAS | AIFLAM | AMA|
Facilitator Family Group Conferencing
Counsellor/ Therapist?/ Positive Psychology- Nationally Accredited |ACA|IICT
Executive coach?Nationally Accredited |ICF
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If at any time you, a family member or friend feels overwhelmed to the point they feel they need help call immediately 000 OR 131114
There is always a way through your current thoughts.
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