The Tools to Avoid (almost) ALL Workplace Drama

On this week’s podcast, I spoke with the AJ Amyx, a growth strategist for creative entrepreneurs. I’m a big fan of AJ’s energy and insight, so I was glad to get him on the pod. I’m really happy with this episode and the CLARITY it brings to some life concepts that are important to me.

Being The Same Person

First off, it’s always interesting to me how people see themselves as different in business versus other areas. You hear it in the phrase “work life balance”. For me, there isn’t a division between work and life. It’s all on the same field.

At work, people might call me Paul and at home my kids might call me dad, but I’m always the same guy. I have the same intents and commitment to integrity. The things that are valuable and important to me don’t change when I’m wearing a different hat.

Mutual Agreements vs. Unspoken Expectations

The next standout from our conversation was the concept of agreements versus expectations. This is a personal one for me. I take clarity seriously. Good communication is one of my core values. And even I end up falling into the trap of expectations.

It’s easy to leave a conversation thinking you’re on the same page with someone -- that you have an explicit agreement -- when all you really have are expectations on both sides. Say you meet up with a colleague you see occasionally and leave things on the note that you’ll “connect soon”. Does that mean making a phone call or sending a follow-up email? When are you supposed to connect, tomorrow or next week? This sort of thing happens all the time. AJ and I talked about how important it is to stop leaving expectations and start making agreements.

Download This Episode's Worksheet on Avoiding Workplace Drama

The Drama Triangle

The Drama Triangle was the final concept that resonated with me. It’s a lot to get into here, but you should skim the Wikipedia page or this article. While the article focuses on personal relationships, like I said at the top, I believe that “work life” and “home life” are all part of the same field. Improving your understanding of relationships will help your entire life.

The Drama Triangle appealed to me because it’s an intuitive way to see when you’re slipping into negative positions. I frequently try to play the “Hero” and fix everything for everyone. That ends up making people too dependent on you and takes away their power. It’s also easy to fall into the “Villain” box and have a super negative outlook and effect on people. Or the “Victim” role, where you feel like the world’s out to get you and you feel powerless.

Did This Resonate with You?

I love meeting like-minded people. We get inspired off each other's experiences and ideas, and it brings a new perspective. If you connected with anything we said in the podcast or simply have a question you're struggling with, you're always welcome to drop me an email or connect on social.

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