Tool 4: Connect With Your Child

Parents and babies were meant to be connected. Attachment – a strong sense of connection and trust between parent and child – is the foundation of children’s emotional and mental health. That connection also helps you enjoy fatherhood and share the experience of parenting with your partner. That way your baby draws you together and doesn’t pull you apart. It also helps you understand your child, which helps make you a better father. That kind of partner is a mom’s best friend.

Getting Connected

???? Get involved. You’re probably looking forward to skating, swimming or going fishing with your child. You will have lots of fun together, but right now, being involved is all about hands-on care — diapering, bathing, comforting etc.

?? Touch, touch, touch. Babies need to be touched and held. It helps them feel safe and secure and actually helps their little brains develop. Dad/baby contact is good for your “Dad brain” too. Using a baby carrier (a front pack or baby sling) is a great way to get the touch time you both need.

? Give yourself time. Some people talk about instant connection with babies, but in reality, this is a new relationship and it takes time to build it. Figure out what you and your baby like doing together and what she responds to: singing, nursery rhymes, looking at books, or even just holding her while you watch TV.

?? Babies come in easy, medium and hard. Some babies cry more, sleep less and are harder to soothe. If your baby is like that it may take longer to feel connected. Things usually get better after a few months.

Don’t Compete With Mom ??

While you do need your Dad and baby time, become involved in a way that supports the mom-baby connection. Sometimes fathers have to back off a bit. Just don’t back right out of the picture. Tell your partner you want to get to know your baby and learn baby care skills and ask her for support with that.

“I started reading picture books to my daughter when she was a tiny infant. Even though she couldn’t really pay attention to the book, she could hear my voice and it was so nice to sit there with her in my arms. I’ll never forget that feeling of closeness.” — Sanjay, father of two

? Forgiveness and Healing: Unpacking the Father Wound with John Smithbaker

In this episode of The Dad Central Show, we’re honoured to host John J. Smithbaker for a powerful conversation about healing the wounds of fatherlessness that come from father abandonment, divorce and neglect.? John J. Smithbaker is an author, speaker and founder of Fathers in the field.

?? In this episode, you'll learn:

1. The impact of fatherlessness: Discover the far-reaching effects of absent fathers on children and adults, from addiction and depression to struggles with forgiveness.

2. The healing power of forgiveness: Unpack the importance of forgiveness in addressing father wounds and the freedom it brings to both the forgiver and the forgiven.

3. The journey to forgiveness: Hear personal stories and reflections from our guest, John Smithbaker, as he shares his own path to forgiveness and transformation.

4. The gift of masculinity: Explore the vital role of masculinity in the world and the importance of understanding and nurturing this gift.

5. Finding strength in faith: Discover how faith and a deeper understanding of one's identity can play a crucial role in the healing process.

??? Tune in to the full episode of our conversation with John Smithbaker!

???? Join DadMentor

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