It Took My Husband's Sudden Death to Prioritize My Health

Life Before Loss

Life before loss looked a lot different than it does now. My thoughts, feelings, actions and habits - they all shifted in the years after my late husband’s death.

I’ve always been a pretty even-keeled, positive person. I thought I had a ‘healthy’ way of managing stress and viewed my daily routines with respect to health as pretty normal. To be honest, I didn’t really put too much thought into it. Like most people, I knew there were better choices to be made in the way I lived my life, but didn’t focus on them most of the time. A demanding career led to choices of ease and convenience, which typically were not the ones that served me well. I was in my early 40s, at the top of my career and feeling confident, so why change anything?

…Until something forced me to change.

Death of any sort sucks. To experience the sudden death of my spouse was another level of mind f*ckery. There’s shock and disbelief that you’ve lost the one person you assumed you’d spend the rest of your life with. The things you didn’t say or do because you thought there was a tomorrow haunts you. Your life turns upside down and you think, what the F do I do now? It's a harsh reminder that nothing in life is guaranteed.

It made me question many things–albeit quietly from the comfort of my empty home. One of the thoughts I kept harping on was, “what could we have done differently to prevent his death? What could I have done differently to prevent this?” Blame and regret came seeping in, even when I tried to stave them off.

To be honest, not too much changed for me until nearly two years after Patrick’s death. I did start meditating a bit to ease the anxiety I felt in my chest in the first 6 months - the way emotions can manifest physically is wild. Not until I got the chance to sit alone during the early months of the pandemic with my grief–taking the time to nourish my mind and body in ways I never had before–did I begin to see true change.

With Change Came Purpose

I felt differently, I began to look different, my mind was clearer. In the midst of loss, I found joy and purpose. I decided to choose my health and well-being as a way to honor life–his life and mine–and wanted to help others find ways to honor theirs as well.

These started with micro steps in my movements at home and outside, with better quality meals, with self-reflection and journaling. The path to building a healthier version of myself gave me a purpose I hadn’t had before.

Though the journey is ongoing, it’s not always easy. When you change and shift the way you live and think, it sometimes can affect the way others see you. They’re used to the old, familiar you, and that can often cause discomfort and strain.

It’s been such an honor and privilege to help people motivated to change find their own journey to better health and realize what they were missing out on.

The Takeaway

My message is that as this year comes to a close, you find a way to get inspired to take your own steps toward a healthier, more vibrant life without waiting for your “wake-up call”. You never think the worst can happen to you, until it does.

• Where are you holding back??
• What area of your life have you been meaning to make change to honor yourself but haven’t yet taken the steps?
• What small shift could you make today to honor your own well-being and those that love you most??

Reach out and let me know and thank you for reading!