"This too shall pass!" - Overcoming study obstacles.

I recently completed a Doctorate of Business Administration (DBA) and man, was it a challenge! Many long days and nights glued to the PC, a multitude of open tabs with journal articles and other information, numerous wine stains on my desk (therapeutic reasons of course), and the internal self-doubt, wondering if it will ever end. Study at any level is challenging, especially for more mature folk who likely have relationships, family, existing careers, and various social commitments to try fit in around the study load.

I started my DBA just before the pandemic, which presented challenges in itself for literally everyone on the planet, let alone us aspiring grad students. Our cohort were expected to travel to Luxembourg for the early phase of the program, but the global travel ban kiboshed that of course. Slightly disappointing, but we got cracking on our preliminary 'Certificate of Research in Business Administration (CRBA), which we needed to pass before continuing to full Doctorant status. If study was easy, everyone would be doing it....right? Well, for first time PhD/Doctoral students it's hard, regardless of one's intellect.

Below is my feedback for the CRBA, which left me with serious imposter syndrome and wondering if I really had what it takes to earn the 'Doctor' title. I still hadn't decided on my thesis title, but it focussed on Sustainability Reporting and what I thought responsible capitalism should look like. Here are my assessors comments from 2021;

"This study is interesting but ambitious – especially considering ‘issues and gaps within sustainability’ elaborated on. The abstract is well written and makes it very clear what the study intends to do and why, but unfortunately I am missing this in the main text, e.g. clearly spelled out aims/objectives of the research, concrete research questions, etc. The introduction, for example, should at least point out what this research is about, including its intended contribution (as indicated on page 7 later on). The short literature review – at this stage – still fails to adequately explore the questions raised on page 7. The research design section is still very vague and based on decades of personal field research in Australia, I expect a lot of substantial challenges, in particular biases related to the knowing-doing problem, but also how these methods will allow you to develop a more appropriate measurement instrument/index for sustainability. PS: The ‘busy’ graphics are by far too small to read – even when printed in colour."

I almost cried when I read that feedback, thinking that I was wasting my time (and a rather healthy sum of money) but picked myself up and took the feedback as a positive, and that the assessors feedback and advise was actually helpful and had my best interests at heart.

I should add that I am a Master Instructor in the art of TaeKwonDo, and have taken many students through the ranks including Black Belt, so I really needed to practice what I preach in terms of perseverance and dedication. We have what we call the 'Blue Belt death zone' in TaeKwonDo, where students attain this senior rank then quit shortly thereafter. They focus on how far they have to go rather than how far they have come. It is only a few gradings until Black Belt from here, & far too many people quit the journey. I often wonder how many former students feel a sense of regret when they see that disused uniform and belt hanging in the wardrobe. A reminder that, for whatever reason, you didn't persevere. Harsh maybe, but it's how I feel.

Anyway, back to the study story. I revisited the feedback constantly, and really wanted to 'get it right' for my Thesis. My Supervisor was equally hard on me, not in a negative way but he really pushed me to pay attention to detail, to refine my research question, and to articulate myself in a more academic manner on paper. About 6 months before the defence, I had hip surgery and was on heavy pain medication, and I also have a spinal injury that ultimately ended up in surgery not long ago so it was a tough time. Being in pain and heavily medicated, coupled with a lot of 'wine appreciation' didn't do great things for my headspace, and I considered withdrawing from completing my thesis. I'd come so far, and wanted to quit. It was all too hard, and I had nothing left in the tank ....or so I thought. My supervisor was likely disappointed, as were the staff at my study place, but I really struggled and lost motivation. I felt burnt out.

I took a few weeks where I didn't touch my thesis, in fact I couldn't even think about it anymore. I wanted it gone from my life. I kept teaching TaeKwonDo (I still do) and had a valued student quit unexpectedly & It really hit hard. It did though, make me reassess my own lack of perseverance with my studies, and how I fell into the academic version of the 'Blue Belt death zone', which ultimately got me back on the research and writing horse.

I took everything on board, got going, and ultimately put the finishing touches on my Doctoral Thesis early in 2024. After 4 years of social withdrawal, missed gatherings with family and friends, a plethora of academic articles scattered throughout various PCs and laptops, my thesis was ready to defend.

I successfully became Dr Darren Hassan on the evening of March 29, 2024 after a successful oral defence online to a jury located in Paris, France.

Below is my defence report;

Viva Voce Report for Executive DBA by Prof Jean-Franc?ois Lemoine

Candidate : Mr Darren Hassan

Title of thesis: Examining Perceived Or Actual Gaps within Sustainability Reporting and Sustainability Reporting Tools (SRT);In Paris, online, on 29th March 2023

The defense starts at 11.00am. Prof. Jean-Franc?ois Lemoine is appointed as President of the jury for the defence of Mr Darren Hassan. He hands over to the candidate who presents his thesis in 20 minutes.

The jury is composed of: Prof. Emmanual Josserand, Prof. Jean-Franc?ois Lemoine, Prof. Diego Norena, Prof. Jean-Franc?ois Trinquecoste and Doctor Ai?ssatou Sy.

Introduction

The candidate's introduction is of good quality. It sets out the managerial and theoretical context of the research. The thesis problem is precisely formulated. The research methodology used is clearly explained, as are the main findings of the thesis. The candidate discusses his results in a relevant manner and draws out theoretical and managerial implications for her research. The limits and prospects of the research are clearly explained. The candidate's oral presentation is very clear and very pedagogical.

Presentation of Mr. Darren Hassan

The rapporteurs stress that the choice of subject is highly relevant. They greatly appreciated the work carried out. The candidate showed great maturity in his handling of the subject. His literature review is very comprehensive. The research methodology used is well suited to the objective of the study. The results are accurately presented and well discussed.

Discussion with the jury

The candidate was asked many questions:

- Faced with this avalanche of critical literature that you report on, I wondered if there were other sources that you could have used which would have been more benevolent towards the corporate CSR practices. In another words is it possible that your work presents a slight selection bias? ;

-? What critical gaps did the research find in sustainability reporting and tools?

-? Please remind us of the mechanism and methodology used during the survey and data

-? Is this sample entirely suitable for collecting the most significant information regarding the

-? How was the survey in the empirical study designed and analyzed ?

-? What are the prevalent issues with SRTs identified in the findings?

-? What are the lessons learnt regarding the SRT strength and weakness?

-? Is there any consensus on how to measure current well-being pertaining SRT?

-? For any way forward how can sustainability be approached and applied to other economic

-? Do you think that the liberal economy should exclude any form of regulation ?

-? What key recommendations were made to improve sustainability reporting?

?The candidate answers each question with great precision.

Decision of the jury- After deliberation, the jury awards the title of Doctor of Business Administration to Mr Darren Hassan.

WOW! I made it after all that doubt, hardship and hard work! Looking at my original feedback compared to my final feedback, the journey and process had been so rigorous and challenging that it pushed me to write better and make it as best as I could. Finishing this after all those times I wanted to quit, the elation of actually finishing the highest degree in academia, was amazing.

If this is you right now, somewhere on the study journey and feeling like it's too hard, just remember that 'this too shall pass'. Time will continue with our without us, so we may as well get going and do something with our lives. Allow yourself a rest and a reset, but get back on the horse and get the whip out!

Best of luck, I hope this helps someone to keep going.