This Too Shall Pass

Yesterday was, for the most part, a normal day. Morning Networking Function at BNI, followed by a breakfast meeting with a friend and respected peer. Then, on my drive home around 10:15 am, I started getting a number of texts, alerts and updates coming across my phone and feeds. People I know and care about were starting to get the news that "a decision has been made, and the business is making some adjustments and reorganizing" — news that no one ever wants to hear.

They say the jungle drums beat loudly in our industry, so I'd imagine many of you are aware of the RIFs that are taking place in a few significant pockets of hospitality tech and from inside some of the arguably biggest providers out there. For those that recieved "notice", my heart is with you, having had that very conversation a number of years ago.

I'm not going to lie, at first, I was devastated, hurt, and in many ways flat out mad and angry. The job had become a big part of my identity, who I saw myself as, was THE roadmap I had in mind for my future... AND If I'm being really honest and taking ownership of my own bullshit, looking back I was also experiencing a sense of false entitlement and unwarranted self importance. There were also new feelings I hadn't experienced in years... Self-doubt, rejection, and the realization that I was no longer part of what I thought was my tribe...

I have to imagine there are people right now feeling some of the same things I did then. That's only natural, and my wish for you is to move past this moment as fast as you are able to by way of giving yourself a “pass” and a moment to process your feelings, grieve if you need to, and move on. It took me the better part of 3 years to really move on from a job that I had called home for almost 8 years.

Lately, I have had the chance to speak with other professionals who have been on a similar journey and had some of the same challenges adjusting to the disruption of their comfortable realities that I had. What seemed to be a recurring theme is that almost all of them had been experiencing a form of identity crisis along with a "Goldilocks" state of existence. What I mean by that is, in 3 years I had 3 jobs, each spanning almost 1 calendar year on the nose (bizarre, I know). And at each, it didn't really mesh or, to use the Goldilocks analogy, they felt too hard, too soft, and none of them fit just right.

When I was at my last long-term role, I felt I belonged, had purpose, my work had meaning, felt valued, was excited by the impact our team was making, and was oblivious that in reality my self-awareness had dropped, I had become out of step with the rest of the business, and was operating with a sense of self-importance and entitlement that was flat-out unbecoming. That was my uncomfortable truth. This was my first experience with being on the receiving end of M&A. At first, it was really exciting when we got the news, things were moving fast, new faces were showing up. Curious executives from the new business began to materialize frequently on what I incorrectly believed was MY home turf. I also at the time was pretty damn naive. If anyone asked me how I liked my job, the first thing I would almost always say is, "This is the last job I will ever have." I had found a home and had no clue that the companies sold and things changed when they did.

Now, fast forward 3 years since the day I got the call. I've had some ups and downs, I've made some mistakes, and took some swings that didn't work out. And thank God they didn't. Because if any of the stops along the way did... I wouldn't be where I am right now. And this moment, this place, this reality we've created and this feeling we are experiencing, my business partner, and our families, and myself wouldn’t trade for ANYTHING. That's what I wanted to share here. That yes, this is a big change, and it is scary, and the timing is terrible (it always is for something like this). And it's possibly the best opportunity you will ever have to be who you always wanted to be.

Embrace this moment. Take the opportunity and the gift it is to reinvent yourself. There is something magical about a "clean sheet of paper". It might take a little while to see that and get past the initial shock. Know that whatever made you feel special about yourself in the job you had... It's still there and probably more valuable than you might know or give yourself credit for.

When I got my news, it was a matter of minutes until the phone started ringing, and the outpouring of care and connection was almost immediate. That's when I knew I hadn't lost anything other than the title and paycheck. I still had all the things I valued and that made me valuable. First and foremost I had my real tribe...my family, my wife, our kids, and the other things that matter, like our home, our relationship, and our health. At that time, I was reminded I had a community around me that cared and real relationships that had people thinking about how to help us find my next opportunity.

Some say the difference between successful people, millionaires, and billionaires boils down to their ability to network...

“The richest people in the world look for and build networks, everyone else looks for work.” — Robert Kiyosaki

If you are here and you are reading this, I have to assume you've built a network and curated your own community. That community is also likely to be reading along right now and hearing about your news as well.

Tom Hanks, one of my favorite actors, did a piece called "This too shall pass." It’s a short, light, and sobering reminder that EVERYTHING is temporary, success, failures, heartache, celebration, life, grief, and the whole gambit of the human experience. THIS TOO SHALL PASS…

(76) A piece of advice from - Robert De Niro and Tom Hanks. - YouTube

If you were part of the news I'm describing, please don’t despair; it’s just a moment and this moment will pass. There is a whole community here that cares and many that are likely to care about you personally. I’d be excited to help anyone that is thinking about their next move. The good news is there are lots of jobs out there, and we happen to have a number of roles we are currently sourcing for our own restaurant tech clientele. Please reach out if you’d like to see what we have cooking; we’d be grateful for the opportunity to connect you to any opportunities that might fit and see if we can help you in this part of your journey.

"Time is your ally and if nothing else, just wait it out..." — Tom Hanks