This Too Shall Pass

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This is The Midlife Male Newsletter where each Sunday I share a few things that are on my mind, a new episode of the podcast and three Midlife Male Approved things I’m into; like great books, recovery tech, training gear, other experts that had a big impact on my life and more.

Sitting in Wonder Cafe on Pearl Street in Boulder writing Sunday's?newsletter filled with mixed emotions...The theme for this week is "This to shall pass"...More on that below...

Heading home later today and then it's off to Utah for The 29029 Everesting 36hr hike filled with more mixed emotions...More on that below too...

Now, for the ask...

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In Health - G?

Alright...Here we go?

This Too Shall Pass

I used to hang on to everything.??

Stuff I didn’t use anymore, people that weren’t a good fit, emotions that didn’t serve me, anger, resentment, all the personal and professional failures and even the successes that easily go to your head and stay there, giving you this false sense of security that you’ve got shit figured out.??

I struggled with letting go.??I still do.??

I thought that I needed to hold onto things so that I wouldn’t forget.??

I thought that I needed to remember the pain I'd felt so that I wouldn’t allow myself to be in that position again.?

I thought that I needed to remember the pleasures I'd felt in order to navigate my way towards more of those experiences.??

I was convinced that by not letting go, I was stockpiling all of life’s lessons, positive and negative, to use them to become a better version of myself.

Man, was I wrong.?I had it backwards.?

Letting go is where it’s at.??

What I’ve learned is that everything passes.?Good and bad.??

And everything should pass…And most importantly, we should let things pass.??

That’s not about living in denial.?Or about forgetting events,?experiences and lessons in their entirety, but rather about operating with perspective.?

The perspective of?"This Too Shall Pass".??

I never thought I’d get past my father’s death…Yet, I’ve gotten past the grief.?

I didn’t think I’d ever come to grips with my brother going to prison…Yet, I’ve released myself (and him) of the disappointment.?

My mother is a perfectly, imperfect example…It’s always something.?And it always passes…Until the next thing…And that too shall pass.?

I remember being in Dallas years ago, having a great weekend away with Kate and her cousins and getting a call that I was being fired by my largest client and I didn’t know how I was gonna survive, replace them and make the revenue back.

90 days ago I spent 50k on a treatment program for someone I deeply care about…I thought I’d gotten a good recommendation from a friend only to be massively let down personally, professionally and financially.?

I extended coaching services to a client I trusted and had been working with for a while to "pay me in 30-60 days" when he got paid by his clients…It’s not the money that’s hard to let go of it's the expectation that he would call me to talk to me about it and why he’s unable to honor our agreement.??

I’m struggling right this very moment with letting go of our son, not smothering him, holding on too tight and allowing him to live his life as independently as possible so that he can learn all the blessings of a skinned knee.?While I know that the protective parent feeling in me will also pass, it doesn't make it any easier to accept.

My point with all this isn’t to throw up all over with my problems?(I prefer to call them "challenges" and also with the understanding that I've got very little to complain about in general and who even cares if I've got a lot to complain about anyway - the show’s still gotta go on!), or?"it must be nice to be able to blow 50k"?(i’m really not in that position!), but rather to shine a light on the fact that every time I thought I wouldn’t or couldn’t get past something….I’ve been able to.??(And you can too!)?Life’s funny like that.

Even the really dark shit where it’s been 100% my fault.?Where I was the one who acted inappropriately, immaturely, irresponsibly, recklessly, unethically, and even morally questionably.??

We can hang on to all of it or we can learn to let it go, allow it all to pass.??

Not to excuse any of it, but rather to release ourselves and permit ourselves to get better, to do better, to use the freedom of allowing things to pass and to allow ourselves to evolve and grow into the men we really want to be and know that we can be.??

Here’s a clip I saw of Tom Hanks talking about this that I wanted to share with y’all.??

Tom Hanks: "This Too Shall Pass"

I also wanted to share with you 5 things I do to help me get past the past.?

1.???Have a positive mantra?- For me, that’s "Control what you can control"...I go to this daily and lean into focusing on what I can control.??

2.???Get out of the way?- I create physical and emotional distance from what’s causing me to hang on. This way I don’t have that constant reminder and the distance allows me to process it better.

3.???Engage in self care?- recovery, mindfulness, going deeper into my goals, family and health.??

4.???Be around people who fill your tank, not empty it?- I look for inspiring, positive and interesting people who can help me to replace my pity party with curiosity, excitement and opportunities.??

5.???Do the work?- The work is what works.?It’s easy to get paralyzed by the past and things that have gone wrong.?Faster you get back to work, the faster these things will pass.??

Let me know your thoughts, and if there's anything I can do to help, reach out.?

In Health - G?

This week I was a guest on my friend Michael Chernow's?Kreatures of Habit Podcast.?

Here's the episode description.?Have a?listen?and enjoy!?

Greg Scheinman helps men maximize middle age, through one-on-one performance & mindset coaching and a weekly kick ass podcast and newsletter, he challenges men in their 30s through 50s to live better, happier, healthier, wealthier and stronger.

He is the author of The Midlife Male; A No BS Guide to maximizing middle age, a keynote speaker and most importantly, a husband and father.

In this episode, Greg and Michael talk about the right time to change shit in your life, how to reverse engineer what you want in five years, and why you can come home at 5pm and still be successful.

Head over to?kreaturesofhabit.com?and enter the promo code KOHPOD20 to receive 20% off your first order.?

Three Things I'm Into...Boulder Edition

Boulder, CO...This shouldn't surprise any of you.?We're stoked that Auden is starting the next phase of his life at CU.?We love this amazing town.?Here are some personal favorites to check out if/when you make it here.

1)?St. Julien Hotel?-?Great hotel, great location.?The St. Julien is upscale, fun and service is exceptional.?Walking distance to farmers market, Boulder Creek and all the action on Pearl Street.?Our go to hotel when in town.?

2)?Wonder?- I love this cool little coffee, smoothie and juice cafe.?Clean, white style, friendly staff and really good coffee and nut milks.??

3)?Canoe Club?- One of the coolest menswear stores i've ever been in.?Stylish, quality goods and brands throughout the entire store that are well chosen and curated.?I could spend a lot of time and money here...

ABOUT?GREG

I help men maximize middle age.Through one-on-one coaching and a weekly kickass podcast and newsletter, I challenge men in their 30s through 50s to live better, happier, healthier, and stronger. And I advise, consult, and invest in brands that aspire to the same.

Interested in working together? Click HERE to set up a FREE call.

Midlifemale.com @gregscheinman [email protected]