This too shall pass

Flashes. A photo. A name. A memory. A familiar place. A familiar voice. How much power can just a little reminder of something forgotten or someone forgotten have on you? We let go of a lot of things in life. Let go of our little dreams, we let friends and relationships slip away, we let opportunities slip away and a couple of other things too. We let go because we need to get real and focus on our life. We let go not because we stopped caring but because maybe we accept that there is nothing left in that space, so we bottle up our dreams, put all our feelings in a box and keep it in a corner, a corner we don’t intend to visit again, a corner that becomes a scar, a reminder of a road not to be taken.

What did we let go though? How do you separate the two? Once a person is attached to something, hooked on to a dream, committed to something more than himself, how do you really let go? So you know you can’t have something, irrespective of the reason, how do you detach yourself? Does distracting count as letting go? Sure it might be a way to focus on what there is in front of us, but are distractions helpful or are they just a way of fooling ourselves and running away? Running away from how we feel, what we think, what we really desire, our true self in that very moment. It is painful. That moment when it hits you that what you wanted is no longer yours to have. You want to quickly dust it off your shoulders and stand brave with your head held high saying you are alright and you are moving forward with time and life. You want to say you have accepted whatever went down and you are looking ahead to better times.

Why would you do that to yourself? Why the first thought when we are hit is to immediately be alright? We look left and right, look on the ground for a second and suddenly behave as if we are doing just fine, we are strong and nothing can shake us. That one look when we look back up at the world, we look at them with a smile trying to act as if it is all ok, as if we knew things were going to fall apart and we were prepared to move on that very second. We are so caught up in being bold in front of the world that we start lying to ourselves. We lie to ourselves that we have accepted it, we pretend to not care, we start to act like we are a strong pillar and nothing can shake us down and we keep moving on with life until that moment, that very moment when it all comes back to us. A little reminder is all that is needed to shake the foundation that we were trying to guard with all our strength. Ever wondered why that happens? You were going on with life just fine, and then one little memory or a flashback, why was it enough to pause your life in that second and leave you still and lost? It freezes you right there making it hard to move forward and harder to look back. Why did you freeze if you were really alright? The answer is simple. Time.

We often say we are running out of time. Always in a hurry, time is money, because if you don’t speed up, you’ll be left behind. Speed up. I want this done and I want it now. Quickly. We don’t have enough time. Time is up! What if in this hurry you lose yourself? What if while trying to catch up with the world you leave yourself behind? This is where the little reminder tosses us upside down. When you left your broken, cheated, disappointed self behind and put on this I am alright, I am doing just fine face in front of the world, you did really leave behind a huge part of yourself. Trying to keep yourself busy with distractions, and every other superficial thing that apparently needs your attention more than you yourself, it sure works for a while, but there is a reason it is called a distraction and not solution. It is temporary. It will fade away like everything else. And when all these layers come off, when all the temporary thrills wear off, you notice everything that you gladly overlooked in the past and you realize you are still there and you never really moved forward.

This is the hard part. Because you realize while you may have looked ahead you never really let go. You have to face it. Every second, every minute, every day, you make an effort to move forward. It is now that you finally accept that you need to let go, be it a dream, be it a person, be it you and how you used to be. It is scary, very scary. It is scary because you think you are losing out on something. The only way you can get over this fear is time. This is where you actually get to be brave, this is where you actually get to build a stronger foundation. And once you get on with it, you’ll realize you never lost anything, you realize it was necessary, for it happened only to make you stronger. You lost yourself only to find who you are. All the clouds begin to fade away and you can finally see the clear sky. And once you see it, once you see yourself standing strong on this new foundation, nothing can knock you down. So the next time you freeze, take all the time you need, be brave, be strong and tell yourself…

This too shall pass!