Too Sad; Don't Read.

Too Sad; Don't read. Is that a thing? It probably should be. Seriously, if you can't take a sad thing right now, move on.

It's Friday night and instead of the other things I had planned I'm looking through water polo pictures from 7 or 8 or 9 years ago for pictures of a dead kid. Somewhere this story will be in the paper or on social media as another young person lost to a drug overdose and then it will be a small pinprick in history. But for his family, for his community, for all the kids in this picture who are now young adults finding their way in the world, it will be a thing that they will likely struggle to understand now and perhaps forever. So here I am, looking for photos, for a scrapbook that probably won't help anyone understand why this tragedy happened.

Is it wrong that the first thought in my head is, "God, I am glad this isn't happening to me?" It almost did. It was almost my son. But he was lucky. I was lucky. I remember far too well what I felt as a parent as the struggle wore me down to the most raw emotional place. I don't know how many weeks or months of sleep I lost. So many decisions had to be made - sometimes daily - that I knew could actually be life or death, or at least have permanent ramifications. Today I am wondering how did my son get lucky? How did I get lucky? And why? Why us and not them?

Addiction among young people is almost always tied to mental health issues. It's good to see that our society is starting to talk more openly about this - but we are far from where we need to be. We need to do better. We need to do so much better. I personally intend to do better and be part of the solution.

Now, I am probably going to rant. Actually, I am going to rant. You were warned.

We need to have systems in place as a society to really spot mental health issues in kids. We need to train parents and teachers and coaches to look for warning signs and know what to do when they spot them. We need pediatricians to screen for mental wellness like they screen for developmental disorders. We need to make sure our kids exercise and sleep and eat well and experience joy - because at the end of the day those things matter so much more than grades or being a star athlete or any other achievement. We need to question why we (as a society - and I am looking at you too FDA) think it's acceptable to prescribe amphetamines to children. If you know me, you know I am not against using appropriate pharmacology. But I am against these drugs. Right after alcohol, Adderall and related compounds are the most common substances abused by teens. Should we be surprised when they then move on to meth and cocaine? Or to benzodiazepines and opiates to come down? Not at all. Should we punish these kids like criminals? No.

But what do we do? Ground them? Send them to IOPs or therapeutic boarding schools or half-way houses? I think a lot of the time we love them less rather than love them more. We need to love them more. Not that love fixes the underlying problem, but it's a step in the right direction.

None of the kids in this picture should be dead, and now one is. If you read this. Thank you.