Too Old For Hamlet, Too Young For Lear??!

When I dipped my toe into the world of Coaching a few years' ago, I attended a One Day "Marketing Yourself As A Coach" course (or something like that!) at Henley. The "Title" I came up with which best described my coaching approach was (maybe not unsurprisingly to those who know me) "The Provocative Coach"...but meant positively (as in "stimulate thought, new ways" etc). So, in advance of this article, you have been warned....

I now find myself in a Professional Hinterland (or is it Purgatory??!) whereby I'm about to leave my current role and enter, yet again, into the foreboding Deep, Dark, Stormy (OK - that has different connotations as a word after recent events!!) Ocean known as "Role Search". And, after 30 years in HR, People & Culture (Personnel and Admin when I started!!), I thought I'd both reignite that "Provocative" aspect to my personality and share a bit more regarding the genuine conflicting thoughts I have as a 57 year old (Ssshh - let's keep between us, eh??!) looking for his next role in the People & Culture Leadership world.

I've seen quite a few Linkedin postings recently citing ageism as being the last bastion of discrimination - and particularly in HR which, you'd think, should know better, no? That is bloody scary for me at this moment in time - am I about to be a victim of this Last Bastion (great name for an Indie Band, mind)? Or is that just bitter, inferior candidates blaming discrimination on not getting a role when, in fact, they simply weren't the best candidate??

Over the last few weeks, as I've readied and steadied myself to leave Purplebricks, when I've shared with a select few confidantes of my imminent departure, I've jokingly said "who's gonna to want this Old Fart, eh?". Part self-deprecation - but many a true word said in jest too. It is scary - there are now lots of utterly brilliant HR Professionals who are 20+ years younger than me and may be seen as more Hungry/Tech Savvy/Driven/Sane (the list is endless) than someone nearing the end of their career (Disclaimer: I have 3 daughters, only one of whom is working - I will not be retiring for a good 10 years!!). The Talent Pool I'm now swimming in and competing against feels bigger than ever!! And I'm worried about getting shouted at in the Speed Lane of this pool!!

My first HRD role was 21 years ago. I was (relatively) Hungry/Tech Savvy/Driven/Sane etc back then and felt that my time had finally come...and I've never looked back since. I'd done my "Apprenticeship" (lots of diverse Personnel roles - even bloody payroll) and worked for some pretty good HR Leaders but it was time to unclip my Professional Wings and demonstrate what a lovely plumage I had at a senior level. So, surely it's only fair now that I step aside for the next Generation of HR Leaders in the same way that I kind of expected older HR Leaders to do back in 2003? As Elton sang (and I paraphrase) it's the Circle Of Professional Life, no? I've genuinely supported the development of some stellar talent over my career (thus far!!) - it would be near-hypocritical to stand in their way now if I were to compete for a role, wouldn't it. In fact, would I pick me??!

At the same time, I now look back at that younger version of me as I stepped into Sunterra to start my HRD role and think just what a relatively inexperienced so-and-so I was - both professionally and even in Life itself. I'm still learning today, of course (and one lesson might be "don't share your thoughts so openly on Linkedin, Dom"!!) but the Experiences I have subsequently garnered at a senior level have been truly priceless. So, whilst I'm still "passionate" (sorry - that's not a word I usually use professionally!!) about developing even more, my primary driver these days is to put into action all that experience I have accumulated and digested since my first Personnel role back in 1994.

I feel conflicted - on one hand, of course I want new Talent to take the reins. It's "Their Time" now. But, on the other hand, I genuinely still believe that I have some brilliant professional experience that will add real value to a variety of businesses. And I'm DEFINITELY NOT unique in this respect, clearly. There's loads of us going through the same near-existential dilemma in HR.

So - how do those of us in HR Leadership square the circle in promoting development of New Talent but ensure self-preservation at the same time? Do Companies genuinely look at someone like me and think "way too old - he's not here for the mid/long-haul"; "he won't be inspired at his age"; "he'll just be treading water"? Or does a business think "what experience this person could bring - not just to the wide business but to the Leadership Team they'll be part of in particular"? Of course, I'd want to encourage the latter..but, hand on heart, have I never thought the former when on the opposite side of the table? My professional Infancy was at the Littlewoods Organisation who, at the time, were seen as real pathfinders when it came to what was then known as "Equal Opps". So that Culture - plus my own upbringing with forward-thinking Parents who taught me from very early on to never discriminate but judge a person for what they can do, not simply who they are - ensured that I genuinely embraced and championed what we now know as DE&I (and now B - Belonging) from the Get-Go when I started HR leadership roles. But "Age" was never really seen as one of those parts which was included in this. So, did I discriminate due to age (consciously or subconsciously?). The chickens, Dom , may now be coming Home to roost! I may be well and truly goosed!!

In most other Functions, I could probably get away with it - but not in my chosen profession! A Sales Person can get away with being highly indignant if they feel that they have been over-looked due to their age (Alright....I know - a good Salesperson should still be as encouraging of developing new talent as any other leader but..well..that's me being provocative!!). But, blimey, I've always been about letting the green shoots of talent grow as quickly as possible and, here's the rub, accept that their lack of experience will be the way they learn quickly.

In my last couple of roles in particular, I was one of the more "senior" (ie older!) members of the Exec Teams I was part of. That in itself gave my role an added dimension of being able to give probably wider insights etc to those in the team who were relatively new to being in an Exec Team - beyond the usual overt/covert coaching that any half-decent CPO will do! Not in the Wise-Old-Sage kind of way but as a Mentor. I know I have always gravitated to those in the teams I was part of in the past who were older and clearly had great insights (don't always think the two go hand in hand though!).

Of course, in some Cultures, I'd only now be seen as ready to take on the role of "Leader" - that, in itself provokes a very different conversation and we can possibly go down that rabbit hole another time. But the real issue is, of course, that we have an "ageing" population and one where the retirement can is being kicked further and further down the alleyway. So - ambitious, hungry younger Talent and even more Folks, nay, Talent, like myself who, like it or not, are not going to go wander off to seek pipe and slippers any day soon. What a conundrum, eh?

I'll let you know what I discover in my latest voyage. I'm sure that, as always, it will be equally fascinating and frustrating. My one Hope is that Talent Will Out, no matter what age it is. I fear that there is unconscious bias, however. But, for now, I can still wear a pair of skinny jeans, know what "rizz" means (even if I'm not dripping in it myself) and can kid myself, at least, that I'm as relevant professionally today as I was back in my Sunterra days in 2003.

Wish me luck!