TOO MANY TRADITIONS?

It’s time to do away with outdated traditions

Last Friday evening, I paid good money (i.e., a significant amount of hard earned cash) to scream excessively, puke and then have my brain rattled around inside my skull only to return to my car, which may or may not have been parked right between two parking places — making it impossible for someone to park next to me — and be called a less than desirable name. The annual outing to Frightmares with my sister will go down in the books as another success.

Success, in this case, is a relative term; and by relative I mean that it literally is relative to only this particular relative: my sister. From the time this sister started living on her own, we have somehow developed this “tradition.” Webster’s describes this as patterns of behavior or actions established over time that can be passed down through the generations. I could add the words “sometimes meaningless” to that definition.

These include, but are not limited to, Black Friday Thanksgiving Night Frenzy, The Tear Infested Festival of Trees (do NOT turn the description cards over to read the stories), The 2?-Minute Easter Egg Fight (I mean hunt), The First Day of Summer Zoo Day, The Illegal Pyrotechnics 4th of July, The Decade Themed Sisters Birthday Party, The Gut Fight Pumpkin Carving, which brings us back to the Nausea-Causing, Head-Spinning Frightmares at Lagoon.

The parking faux pas was truly an accident. We were so excited to be the first in line for Cannibal that we couldn’t possibly pay attention to staying precisely in the lines of the parking spots. Either way, after our exhausting 1?-hour stay, we stumbled out. As I was unlocking my car, which I pretended was not my car until the cursing dude passed, it crossed my mind that, perhaps, it wouldn’t be a horrible idea to call an end to this particular tradition.

Sometimes we hang on to traditions just because “we’ve always done it,” even if it no longer serves us.

The same is true with certain household items. Just because the plastic grapes that were sculpted among a community of like-minded Christian sisters have always been on the table doesn’t mean they should remain there. Honestly, plastic fruit is no longer a traditional item of décor.

This also goes for wallpaper borders and window treatments with matching valences. Don’t shoot the messenger; I’m just reporting it as the facts come in.

Honestly, you can feel free to hang on to the plastic plants and vertical blinds if you would like ... after all, it’s your home. However, if you plan to sell someday, these are traditions that would be of financial benefit to you to


liberate.

There are some items that can be repurposed. Pine furniture can be painted or refinished to give it a new and updated look. Ruffled bed skirts can be made into Halloween costumes or bridesmaid dresses. Lace doilies could be repurposed as lingerie or donated to an Early American History Museum.

Admittedly, I’m guilty of hanging on to some “tired” décor and trends. I’m also guilty of hanging on to some exhausting and less than useful traditions. Granted, I’m not planning on selling anytime soon, my home or my sister, but I’m taking inventory, and I’m crossing out all traditions that serve zero purpose, other than a trip to the chiropractor (again).

Jen Kirchhoefer is an associate broker and Realtor with Ascent Real Estate in South Ogden, UT. She can be reached at 801-6452134 or [email protected]


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