Is it too late to change?

“Well that’s just the way I am.” I’ve heard that line a time or two in my work – when challenging someone that their angry eruption wasn’t appropriate, talking someone down from an anxiety cliff, or reminding someone that a flexible attitude is needed during seasons of big organizational change.

The fact is, all of us can change, and “that’s just the way I am” isn’t actually true. Neuroscience tells us that our brains have lifelong plasticity, which means we can learn to respond in new and healthier ways to the challenges and crises of our days.

Essentially, I’m talking about Emotional Intelligence (EI) – a set of emotional and social skills that we can practice, flex and develop in the same way we might tone muscles. Growth in EI helps us respond in more healthy ways to the challenges of life.

How important is strong EI? The research is clear – EI plays a BIG role in our success: It’s the single biggest predictor of performance in the workplace, and accounts for 58% of performance in all types of jobs (see Emotional Intelligence 2.0, by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves).

There are plenty of ways to develop EI. In my experience coaching and training with EI, I’d recommend that a good first step is to intentionally develop strong emotional self-awareness. That means cultivating the ability to recognize and understand our own emotions in the moment, and understanding the cause and the impact they have on our thoughts and actions, and on others.

For instance, think back over your day, at all the things that have happened. Can you name 3 emotions you’ve felt since the moment you woke up? Or think back over a heated moment in the past week. What emotions were you feeling? And how did you respond? While we may not be able to control the emotions that wash over us, we do have the ability to begin to recognize them, and to control the thoughts and actions that follow.

People who are high in EI are more self-regulated and less impulsive. They can recognize an emotion in the moment – whether negative or positive – and toggle down its intensity before they respond.

?Interested in learning more about EI? Next month, I’ll be leading two sessions on Emotional Intelligence through Learning Circles. Learning Circles brings together a group of leaders via Zoom on a 6-week journey of learning and networking. Modules are 75 minutes long, highly interactive, and offer practical tools and models you can apply immediately. Message me if you’re interested!

Marla Konrad is an executive coach, trainer and facilitator based in Ontario, Canada. Her passion is seeing leaders and teams grow in impact and self-awareness. She is the co-founder of Learning Circles, and trains on key leadership issues such as emotional intelligence, communications, and adaptability in complex times. She is certified to coach and train with EQ-i2.0 (Emotional Intelligence) and the Integrative Enneagram. Visit her at marlakonrad.com.

?#leadershipdevelopment #EQ2.0 #HumanResources #Learningcircles

?