Too Close - The Compassion I Feel

The day started with early client calls but I was kind of bursting to write about the final episode of #tooclose on ITV last night.

For me, it was an excellent drama and vulnerably portrayed the shocking decline into a human being's mental breakdown when their needs were not being met and neglectful medical advice/lack of support, leading to extreme consequences.

If you flashback to the opening scene of episode 1 and the wild-looking bedraggled woman driving her car off of a road, crashing through barriers and into the sea with two young children strapped to the back seat, it paints a picture.

How could she do such a thing?? What the hell is she doing??

And the judgements pour in as it's a very disturbing scenario.

Then we see the same woman incarcerated in a secure psych unit for her assessment by a forensic psychiatrist, and initially, the same woman appears to be very manipulative and using lots of avoidance tactics to put the onus onto the doctor. Her wild-looking appearance remains, after escaping her death from the car incident, which only adds depth to the already painted picture.

However, last night's episode did a wonderful job in its explanation of the full context of not only the woman's back story but of also the psychiatrist's and the rather unique relationship they created.

I have always felt that we all have our limits, and put any one of us into the wrong circumstances, we have a breaking point and that breaking point may lead to places that we never thought possible for us. Such as committing a heinous crime and being locked up for it and brandished with a label, or if you're unlucky, a whole host of labels.

I'm not for one second advocating it's okay to commit crimes at all, but I do see the bigger picture, and very often the "criminal", especially where linked with a mental illness or a personality disorder, is deeply wounded and deeply hurting.

I think it's VERY important to hear one's whole story before any judgement is made. Hurt people usually go on to hurt people, but they are often quickly judged, labelled and condemned by society because many only see the act, the behaviour and don't stop to explore the reasoning behind it.

I cannot not feel compassion, because although I never committed a serious offence, I know what it's like to feel trapped with a very dark mindset and be deeply hurt. And I know that when you are in that place, something has to change to stop that pattern from repeating generation after generation. I know what it's like to be hidden away in a psych unit for quite a long time. I know what it's like to be judged and labelled and how that often only adds to the abundance of pain you already feel.

This is totally why I am so called to help people who find themselves in these kinds of circumstances and love the projects I have already done with a secure unit and more recently, the befriending.

Knowing that my past experience that brought me so much shame from being a young girl, can help to make someone locked away to feel better is incredible. I aim to help so many more of these people and the universe is already opening up to me to build bridges of connection and opportunity.

If you haven't already seen the show, #tooclose, then I urge you to watch it with an open mind and with compassion and empathy.