Tony Robbins | 6 Life Lessons at 64

“Age is our friend, experience our guide.” – Tony Robbins??

Last month I had the privilege of celebrating my 64th birthday. I’m a leap-year baby, so this past birthday was extra special.??

My actual birthday only comes around once every four years.?

I haven’t always been a fan of birthdays, especially ones with a zero at the end.??

For me, birthdays like my 40th used to be a reminder of all the things I hadn't accomplished. I applied pressure on myself. I thought, “I haven’t helped enough people”; “I haven’t done enough.”?

When in fact, I had helped millions of people. And I was missing all that I had achieved and contributed in life, which was a lot. Simply because of a number.??

What I’ve found to be true is, most people overestimate what you can accomplish in a year, and underestimate what you can accomplish in a decade, or two, or six.?

Big dreams and big goals stretch across years, seasons, and lifetimes. The key is not letting the expectation of how life should be drive you.?

Somewhere around 55, I woke up.??

And I remembered who I am.??

I will always serve and contribute in this life, but without the “have to” in front of it.??

I no longer feel that I need to prove to myself that I’m free, or that I’m growing, or that I’m enough.?

I just am.??

And I’m so full of gratitude for this life, especially the hard moments that have helped shape who I am today. Because you can take away everything, but you can never take away who you’ve become.??

Looking back, these are some of the lessons I’ve learned along the way that I’m honored to share with you today.?

1. Master Meaning?

I grew up with four different fathers and a very intense mother.??

One Thanksgiving while I was still young, a man knocked on our door holding bags filled to the brim with groceries.??

They were an anonymous gift from someone who knew my family was struggling to put food on the table.??

I was overjoyed. We’d have a real turkey to eat instead of the canned foods we had on reserve.??

But my father at the time felt differently. He stomped to the door angrily and tried to slam the door in the delivery guy’s face, spitting out, “We don’t take charity from strangers.”??

The man slipped his boot between the door and frame just in time for the door to bounce back open. “Sir,” he insisted with earnest, looking into my father’s eyes.??

“Please don’t let your family suffer because of your pride.”??

My father was livid.??

But he snatched up the groceries from the man and stomped back inside. We had more food that day than I’d had in a long time.?

And what I realized that day is meaning means everything.??

What was the meaning my father gave to that interaction? That he was a failure, that he couldn’t provide for his family. And so, he was angry. And stayed that way.?

What was the meaning that I gave to it? Strangers care. And if strangers could care, I could too.?

And it was the catalyst for my goal to end suffering and provide 1 billion meals, which I accomplished two years ahead of schedule last year. ?

Master meaning, master your life.?

2. Failure Is Your Best Friend?

Looking back, I can see that what seemed to be failure at the time resulted in some of my most gorgeous moments of innovation and insight.??

Our society is so scared of messing up, of not getting it right, of failing.?

It’s bred the cancel culture we see today. Instead of coaching people through their mistakes, we tell them their life is over. We rob people of the ability to learn, to grow, and to expand as human beings.? ?

And we rob ourselves of the opportunity to extend our knowledge and grace to others.??

Failure is a sign of living, a sign of trying. And it’s in the failing that we are refined.?

Within life’s worst problems lie the greatest opportunities.??

The pandemic knocked everyone to their knees, me included.??

When I got word back in March of 2020 that I had to cancel our Unleash the Power Within event in San Jose, I was in shock. And I didn’t want to do it. In 40 years, I’d never canceled an event. I could be in terrible physical condition and still would get up on stage and deliver, because that’s what I’m here to do – to serve, no matter what.??

But eventually, I came to terms with it and accepted this new reality. But instead of just accepting it, I moved into creation mode. I decided to innovate.??

I said, if they won’t let people come to us, we’ll go to them. We’ll go to them in their homes and in the form of the biggest, wildest, most fun virtual seminar to ever exist.??

I had my teams build a huge studio here in Florida, with a monstrous 360-degree screen with 16-foot ceilings so I could see and interact with thousands of people at any given time.??

We developed it so I could call on any person and have them show up big on the screen, just like if I selected someone from the audience at an in-person event.?

And with this new model, we’re reaching more people than ever before.??

Failure, life’s challenges – they offer the greatest lessons and on the other side, the greatest rewards. If you’re open to the call.??

3. Stay Hungry??

What does it take to succeed in life? Hunger.?

Hunger is the greatest asset you’ll see in titans like Richard Branson or mega brands like Apple or Facebook.??

And it’s not something that can be taught.??

Intelligence is a dime a dozen. But how many insanely intelligent people do you know who couldn’t fight their way out of a paper bag???

Hunger is that part of you that says, “I will not stop. I will not give up. I will find a way.”?

Hunger is what gets you up early, what sustains you through another late night of pursuing your dreams, and what drives you to get to the next level.?

Hunger says if I don’t have the skill, I’ll learn it.??

Hunger says if I don’t have the resources, I’ll find them.??

Hunger says I will not settle for less than I can do, or be, or share, or give.?

Stay hungry, stay succeeding. ?

4. Happiness Is an Art.?

I learned a long time ago that there is a formula for success.??

I learned from others who had gone before me and left clues. And I didn’t learn from those in the lucky sperm club, I learned from people who started with nothing and discovered how to create wealth, how to become the best at their industry or sport.??

Knowing the formula for success is the easy part. Applying it is where you find out what you’re made of.?

So, I had the whole success thing figured out in my earlier years, the science of achievement as I call it.??

But what I hadn't tapped into yet was how to be happy. Yes, happy.?

How to feel fulfilled.?

Trust me, I know a dozen billionaires that don’t have to work another day in their life and have every luxury under the sun, but they don’t have happiness.??

They don’t have true fulfillment.??

That’s when I realized that if achievement is a science, then fulfillment is an art.??

And what do I mean by that? It’s different for everyone.??

I’ll give you an example. I have a very wealthy friend who invited me to his home years ago. He was so excited to show me his latest purchase. Now this man has everything. He’s the owner of a wildly successful hotel chain.??

You can imagine my confusion when I gazed upon what he was so ecstatic about purchasing; a red square splattered on canvas hanging from his wall.?

For $86.9 million.?

Now it was a Rothko, highly revered in the art community, but to me it was a smear of red paint.??

Give me a can of paint and a paintbrush and I could create this.??

And while I eyed the painting with concern, my friend gushed over the subtle details of the paint strokes, the emotion that came through in the contrasting hues.??

And then I had it. Fulfillment is an art. What’s fulfilling for one person may not be for another.??

And that’s the beauty of it, it’s unique to you. And it doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else.?

5. Life Is Always Happening for You?

This one is near and dear to my heart. You know I’m an achiever, much like you are if you’re reading this.??

But this life lesson really changed the way I view the world.??

It’s the idea that everything in life, the good, the bad, the mundane, is all happening for us, not to us.?

Meaning, you are not merely a pawn in a game called life. You are not at the mercy of whatever God or the universe throws at you.?

And while you can’t control the external world, what you can control is your internal world. How you respond to life.??

What hardship, what obstacle, whatever is happening right now in this moment, what can it teach you???

What can you appreciate in life more because of it? What can you learn from it? How can you grow??

Problems are a sign of life. And viewing life as happening for me has made all the difference.??

Because the problems will come, there’s no doubt about that. But the way that I choose to meet them, that is my superpower.??

And it can be yours too.?

6. The Secret to Living Is Giving?

It might sound cheesy to some, but giving is evolutionary.?

We are wired for community and to help others, – it’s in our DNA.?

And once you’ve given, you know there’s no greater joy in life.?

Whether it be your time, your resources, your skills, or your presence, the secret to living is giving.?

When I look back on all the pinch-me moments I’ve experienced, meeting with world leaders, traveling to paradise in my own private plane, owning the nicest watch or car... they all pale in comparison to the joy I feel in giving to others.?

It’s why I continue to do what I do, speaking to more than 30 thousand people at a time for 14 hours a day.?

It's not because I need the money. It's because it’s a part of me to give back, to guide people to become the best version of themselves.??

From that fateful Thanksgiving Day that I learned strangers care, I too, want to give back.??

There’s truly no greater joy than when we pair what we do daily with our innate gifts to better the world.??

Cheers to getting older, and all the wisdom that comes with it, if we choose to grasp ahold of it.?

Do you have limiting beliefs around age??

Is there an unnecessary pressure you’re applying on yourself???

How could you focus less on the number, and more on how you feel about your life as a whole??

Live with passion!?

Tony Robbins?

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“Society would have us fear aging. But it’s not only a privilege, but our greatest advantage.” – Tony Robbins?