Tonight You Will Cry...

He was wrong. He kicked me, he choked me, and more than once struck pressure points that literally caused me to go unconscious.

"Tonight you will cry...", he laughed. And then slammed his hand on the side of my neck... I collapsed.

I didn't cry... but I came mighty close, and it changed my life - both personally and professionally.

"On your feet... don't be a pu**y... Up!"

If you have ever seen the evil John Kreese from the old Karate Kid movies, or the more recent Cobra Kai series - well, I met him. Or someone even worse...

At 20 years old I had trained for years to become proficient in martial arts, and although I was financially broke, I saved up enough money to drive 6 hours away and sign-up for an all-day closed-door training with a martial arts master.

He was very proficient, very powerful, and truly a jerk... But, the lessons I learned were so important for my life and business.

Now, you don't have to have ligaments torn (yes, that injury occured), and you don't have to taste your own blood, in order to grab these lessons. I'll be your Mr. Miyagi and share with you in the article. Yes, wax on wax off my friend.

So, what did I learn from this interaction?

First, I was not ready for the competition or the attacks that were coming against me because I was overtrained sparring with one opponent (my sensei). In fact, I had spent hours training and fighting my original instructor, so I knew how to fight him! I knew his next moves, his blocks and his responses to my movement.

The problem? The 'evil' instructor did not respond the same way... He moved differently, his offense was not the same, and he did not pull punches!

Secondly, he tried to break me.

"Tap out or I will choke your ass out!", and he loved growling this into my ear. I realized he was not trying to teach me at this point... he was just being sadistic.

I tapped out... he released my throat... I sent up an 'accidental' headbutt that gashed open his lip. Yep, maybe I was wrong, but :-)

2 Lessons Came From This Event...

First, get out of your own dojo. You can't spar with the same person, or only shadow box. The real competition will throw you circumstances that maybe you are not ready for.

In life and business THEORY sounds great, but going out and working in real-life circumstances will quickly teach you what you know... and where you need to grow.

I work with a lot of coaches that have trained in a certain style of coaching, or within a very narrow niche. Yes, expertise is important, yet stretching and growing your skillset and flexibility of your behavior and responses to stimuli are most important.

Coach outside of your own area of expertise, at least periodically, to learn how to adapt and see from another paradigm of reality.

Secondly, don't sign up to learn from a bad sensei (coach) - and if you do split his lip open with a headbutt :-)

Seriously, this instructor had an amazing skillset that he shared during the training session. Yet, his mindset and belief system was lacking the quality I was seeking.

We live in a world of abundance, and there is no shortage of great coaches and mentors. So, I learned that we can truly be very selective in whom we invest our time and energy with.

Find the coach or mentor that will push you beyond your limitations and false beliefs.

Find the coach who will impart a skillset into your life or business.

Find the coach or mentor that will help you become the best you can become in life and business.

Yet, in your search for your mentor, make sure that they really do care. Many will say they care about you - but do they actually have any interest in seeing you succeed?

Hire the right coach. Fire the wrong coach. And, always remember to get out of your own dojo.

*Feel free to send me a message if you would like to discuss more about coaching, mentoring, or even some good ol' martial arts discussions. :-)