Tomorrow is the Day of the?Dead

When we remember those who have died, we remember who they were but not what they did for a living.

The important things

It was the fiftieth anniversary of my school graduation in September, and there was a class reunion. Those who survived travelled from all over the world to attend. The talk was not about careers and acquisitions but about families, friends, and the good old days—the important things in life.

I used my favourite line: we were twenty in the seventies and will be seventy in the twenties.?

I have the luxury of prioritising family and friends in my life. Others allow themselves to be ground down by their jobs, and many ignore the pain and stress they cause due to toxic leadership.

Giving back when you?can

I have a strong internal locus of control, which means I see the events in my life as within my control. Many people I have worked with have an external locus of control, and they suffer from the whims and vagaries of outrageous fortune. Bullies love them because they can refine their art of manipulation and abuse power.?

I seek to prevent their destructive march from being effective. Doing the right thing has often cost me dearly, but it will not ultimately make me a loser.

The baseball?bat

Bullies have power and wield it to their benefit. They understand force, and showing them the consequences of their action is necessary.

I love the quote from Matilda by Roald Dahl: “I’m smart; you’re dumb. I’m big; you’re little. I’m right; you’re wrong, and there’s nothing you can do about it” because the bullies that I have worked with who lived by this mantra were not the winners.

Robert Cialdini identified “reciprocity” as a key factor in influence. Dale Carnegie and Hari Krishna built multimillion-dollar empires on the same principle.

Reciprocation means that doing a small favour for a person will result in a more significant payback because people are obliged to give back to others through behaviour, gift, or service they received first.

The long?game

Sometimes, a breach of promise by those who adhere to the “I’m big; you’re little” mantra requires playing a long game, especially when the reason for their strategy is clouded in self-preservation and self-interest.

Only this week did I discover that a bully determined to crush and eliminate my team failed instantly when facts exposed their machinations.

The game took eight years until the final play, but might was wrong, and right triumphed.?

Like Donald Trump, who claims to love winners and hate losers, bullying behaviour often trumps doing the right thing. The reciprocation rule applies when it does not cost a company too much, and I have been recognised and rewarded accordingly. But when times are tough, the company is in difficulties, and individuals' positions are threatened, bullying behaviour takes over.

Insurance policy

In every job I have had, I have applied the rule to add value and become indispensable.

We are all paid to do our contracted job, but adding a little extra is insurance.?

I was always in the top five per cent of people who travelled in my company, so my expenses often exceeded my salary.

Calculating my total cost of employment and prioritising additional direct savings as a multiple of this made it somewhat difficult for management to dispense with my services if I threatened their position.

I even had a boss who commented that ? don't know what Ian does, but he saves me millions of dollars, so I don't ask.”

In the?end

Like the Beatles' song The End where, “The love you take is equal to the love you make,” doing the right thing enables me to sleep peacefully in my bed at night.

Your career and acquisitions are not important in life.

Having hundreds of colleagues who have supported me and continue to do so, eliminates my stress and ensures tranquillity this Día de (los) Muertos.

I suspect the same does not apply to those subject to my motivational baseball bat.?