Tolerance against Intolerance

Tolerance against Intolerance

Fighting prejudice with love

I  lived in London from 2011 until the end of 2019. I am from Romania. I went through the border opening for Romanians and Bulgarians which was really badly represented by the media, through the voting of Brexit and the attempts of getting it done.

I remember the look in some people’s eyes when I said I was Romanian. I could literally see the bias being activated, followed by a look of surprise that I did not confirm that prejudice.

I remember the questions: from “Are there more people looking like you in Romania?” to “You are Romanian and you live in that area of London? Are you flat sharing?”

I remember statements like “You don't look Romanian” at business networking events or “You are just an exception”. I remember not getting job interviews after sharing my nationality. 

I took the time and told them my story. I told them about my people, how we are friendly and creative and sensitive. I told them about our beautiful culture, our stunning landscapes, our painful past. 

I told them about our history of not having a voice, about how we are finding it now and about what great opportunities are in my home country. 

I did not hold their bias against them. I worked hard to get to know them, I showed myself and connected. I made friends and I offered, for their knowledge, a new narrative. 

I presented them other Romanian friends to add, with their stories, to a new image of a reality they only knew a narrow part of.

The experience did not harden my heart, it did not make me angry with them, although it made me sad. It encouraged me to share more of myself and of the tribe I am part of. 

I have friends who have suffered more than me for similar reasons, friends who decided not to share aspects of their identity, friends who felt anger at the injustice. 

I don't blame them, I just chose a different way. I channelled all my love and trust in humanity towards allowing the biased to prove me that they can change opinion, or at least to act respectfully. 

I was not disappointed, but I cried when I would watch in the news how the syntagm “Romanian man” was portrayed in the media. I cried when Brexit was voted on although I was expecting it. I cried for my people, who felt rejected and for the voters who did not know any better. 

Prejudice is visible in people’s glare. This is all the more reason that we need to say out loud - with pride, a smile and compassion towards the behaviour – that what sets us apart is important and beautiful but irrelevant, as we all speak the common language of the important needs that make us human.

Sometimes we just have to be exposed to a different narrative. Nobody is born prejudiced - cultural, gender, socio-economic biases are not with us from birth, they stem from the information we were exposed to growing up. They are also being programmed into us every day through media and the tribes we belong to, in this day and age, in this particular society, in this global context.

I encourage you to sit face to face, human to human and express your truth, with conviction but kindly. It can be that we are Romanian, British, Syrian, or whatever nationality, be it that we have ADHD, or autism, or any physical disability, be it that we are rich or poor, right or left handed or managed to become ambidextrous, regardless of what color our skin is, our sexual preference, our level of education, how old we are and what gender we identify with. 

Let’s face prejudice of all kinds with knowledge and compassion rather than fear. We should all be proud of who we are and embrace what makes us different, while respecting the diversity of the ones in front of us.

The opposite of all kinds of discrimination is not any kind of extreme activism, which places blame and points fingers. What I find to be the common opposite of all these attitudes is tolerance. 

Let’s channel tolerance to those who need it so much, not only the hurt ones, but also the ones doing the hurting and let’s give them a chance to prove us that our trust in their capacity to change is well placed.

What a lovely sentiment.

Marc Jarrett

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4 年

Loved chatting with you this morning Ana-Maria. Your empathy was almost palpable x

Rachel Warren

Giving love and support to help you get your glow back

4 年

You are a beautiful soul ??

Andrea Davies

Program Technician at USDA

4 年

Great read!

Sushovan G.

I am a competent individual with excellent co-ordination skills. I strive to learn and like to being put outside my comfort zone. Like to priorities workload & meet deadlines. I am team player & customer centric.

4 年

This racism should stop.. What if some is from Romania or Bosnia.. They are also human.. Should be respected.. I love these countries because of simple nature of people and Romanian natural beauty.. Come to India.. There is no racism.. We are one and equal.. We treat guests as God.. Please consider the option of subcontinent

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