Togetherness

When I was young I loved to make sandcastles and dams on the beach. As a matter of fact, I still do. When my children were old enough to build their own sandcastles I was an eager co-worker. I even took my adult shovel with me to add some power to the building.

We created dams to prevent water to flow back to the sea when it was low tide. These dams could span ten, twenty, or even thirty meters. And they were difficult to maintain. So we needed to work hard to repair dam breaches and as the water gathered in the artificial lake, we needed to raise the walls. We worked until our hands were raw. 

We worked often in silence and we gave each other instructions and indications. We also helped each other when the water flooded over the sand walls. The purpose was in the challenge.

The purpose was in the challenge.

These are some of the finest memories of my childhood and parenthood. And as I think about them, I realize that this experience is about togetherness.

The objective was to create a lake of warm water. The shallow water was warmer than the water in the sea. This attracted also other kids.

This is something you cannot do alone. You need to combine forces. Together you can achieve more. And it is fun to do. The togetherness creates a sense of immersion, of belonging. Working together and building something with our bare hands makes the togetherness tangible and concrete.

This experience is far away from the artificial shallowness of social media, of abstract charades and complicated rituals that seem to alienate us more than they unite. How we long for concreteness. How we need belonging.

If we can find meaning in togetherness, we thrive.

If we can find togetherness in concrete experiences, we flourish.