Today's Truth

I wrote a piece a few days ago about a few clients who were having a hard time articulating what they want and what they believe. As I do with every morning, today started in the gym. Usually I use that time to clear my head or mentally check off what the days agenda is. However today, I could not clear my head of what these two clients were struggling with. Their truth. So I started thinking about my truth today in this very moment. 

I have been meditating in one form or another for the past 40 years. When I meditate, I use that time to empty my thoughts that are stealing precious moments of being fully present. It is very easy for me {and assuming most of us}, to get side tracked from what is really important. Like truth. The very thing that can define, motivate and help cultivate who we are. So while on the treadmill {in a runners high}, I started listing my truths.

The very first thing that came to mind in terms of my truth was motivation. At age 53, I have learned and trained myself that when I feel motivated, I take action. If I am in the gym and feel there is extra energy in the tank, I extend my workout. It doesn't matter what the day holds, I will literally push everything back. Or, if I have the urge to write {like I do in this very minute}, I write. Despite having a long laundry list of things to do today, when motivation strikes, I take full advantage.

The next thing that came to mind was I feel better being kind verses needing to be right. In business, relationships or life in general, 90% time I will opt to be kind over being right. I'd like to say 100%, but I am still working on ego.

Being a retired crisis counselor, I have employed next philosophy into my day to day life. When someone is hurting, they don't need your advice. They need you to be present for them. I have expanded this into my daily life. While I am an educated man, I rarely offer advice if it is not asked for. People respond much better when you try and understand them, verses trying to fix them. 

Self care or selfish? I have been accused of being selfish over the years. And in some cases, they were absolutely right. But as I have gotten older, I have learned to value my spirit {and time}, to the point where I protect it above no other. I have always loved the saying that you cannot pour from an empty cup. So I don't. Even if it means losing friends and family along the way.

Family. Yes I have said goodbye to many family members. Not because I didn't love them. But because I love myself. Just because you are blood, does not make one a good fit in ones life. People have tried to make feel guilty about this. But after much prayer, mediation and education regarding this matter, I keep coming back to the same answer. Protect your power.

Protect your power? You protect your power by taking a look at your environment. If it's not healthy, you're going to have problems. Those people who constantly drain you? You know the ones who are always involved in drama. They are taking away your power. I tell my clients over and over again. They may or may not be bad people. But if they drain you, and do not add value to your life, it's time to move on. All that means is that they are bad for you. It's not about judgement. It's about investment. 

Let's look at this from another perspective. You want to plan for your future. Do you take your saving and invest it in literally the most unstable stock? The answer is of course no. Same principle holds true with family and friends. There have been many studies done on this. Want to know what your life will look like in 5 years? Take a look at the 5 people you spend the most time with. Because that is your future. We are a product of our environment. It is very hard to escape that fact.

My last truth of today? Pick a partner who brings out the best in you. Someone who you trust enough to call you on your shit. Someone who makes you want to be a better person. And finally, someone that you would move heaven and earth to see that you are returning the favor. 

When my wife became disabled a decade ago and our lives changed forever, neither one of us skipped a beat in the way we approached our relationship. Despite not being able to do about 70% of the things that we used to do, we lean on each other, which has lead to greater depths of intimacy. Being that vulnerable and having to trust can be overwhelming and scary. We just kept talking and sharing our concerns. We didn't judge each other, and we found a new way of living that works for us. And most importantly, we continue to say thank you. To each other. To our creator. And to ourselves. 

So I invite you to take some time for self reflection. What is your today's truth? By knowing your truth, you are in essence creating your future. If your truth doesn't feel so good, then you have some work do. If it feels good, delight in the fact that you have defined who you are. And if you have done that. No one can take that away from you. No one.