Today Is Your Last Day of Work

After Mary Lin-Sanchez told me that sometimes she felt so tired, she couldn’t finish a shower without a break, and that her parents were shopping and cleaning for her because she had trouble walking down the stairs, and that talking for more than a hour could debilitate her for the rest of the day, I asked Mary, who had come to me for advice on disability benefits, “So when do you want to stop working and start your medical leave?”

Mary thought about it, then said she had a lot of work, and she didn’t want to disappoint her boss and coworker.

“I love being an engineer,” she said.

She was 29 years old and worked at a tech startup. She often felt tired, even after plenty of sleep, along with intense nausea and dizziness. Her family doctor diagnosed her with depression, but her psychiatrist suspected chronic fatigue syndrome. The illness changed her life over the previous two years. Prior to her illness, she enjoyed rock climbing, cooking for family and friends, and most of all, traveling abroad with her boyfriend, Todd. But now she could hardly leave her apartment. She broke up with Todd so that he could start a new life with what she called a healthy “normal” woman.

“Andy, my job is the only thing I have left,” she told me.? ? ???????????

“I asked you to take a medical leave,” I said. “I didn’t ask you to quit your job. You’re very ill, but no one can stop you from trying to work. Come back to me when you’re ready to take a break.”

I waited for Mary to leave my office, but she lingered. “I’m afraid this would be the beginning of the end, Andy. I’m afraid that I still won’t be able to work when the leave ends.”

“Maybe you won’t. I don’t know, Mary. Life is unpredictable and ephemeral.”

“Then what will happen to me?”

“Then you can apply for long term disability, such as social security. Then you can rest and focus on your healing.”

She said she would think about it, talk to her family, and call me back. Before she left, she turned around and said, “You are very efficient, Andy. I like that.”

A few days later, we got on a video call. She decided to take the leave and asked me when her last day of work should be.

?“How about this coming Friday?” she said. “Would that be too soon? My company wants me to give them a 30-day notice for taking medical leave. Would they deny my leave request?”

“Yes, you can make Friday your last day,” I said. “Many companies say they want advance notice, but when people are too sick to work and must stop immediately, then they should stop working right away.”

Mary nodded as she listened to me.

“Consider people who get hit by a car. Or people who suddenly need debilitating chemotherapy. They don’t have a 30-day notice to give either. You should notify the employer as soon as reasonably possible. Your condition is affecting your ability to work and continuing to work is affecting your health. If you don’t take medical leave, you may get a bad performance review or even a termination.”

Mary nodded, looking worried. “I already got a bad review,” she said. “They want to put me on PIP (Performance Improvement Plan),” she said. “Actually, I don’t even know if I can make it to Friday,” she said, covering her face with both hands.

I could hear the stress in her voice.

“When was the last time you were in your office?” I asked.

“This morning, before this call.”

“Then why not make today your last day of work?” “Today?”

“Yes, today is your last day of work.” She took out her phone and typed a few words.

“I just sent an email to my boss, saying I want to start my FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) leave today.”

“Wow. That was fast. Good.”

“I, too, can be very efficient when I have made up my mind.”

We smiled.

. . .

Years later, after Mary went on her medical leave and got on state disability, after she resigned from her job, and after we appealed her social security claim twice and finally won at a hearing with a federal administrative law judge, and before she was about to move to a cabin in Mendocino, Mary came to my office to say goodbye.

She said, “Andy, you know that day when you said, ‘Today is your last day of work?”

I did remember.

“It shocked me a little. I couldn’t believe it. I had always thought I would stop working one day, but not “today.” It was liberating to hear that I could stop working immediately and apply for disability.”

She thanked me and hugged me and asked me to visit her and Todd in the mountains. Yes, they got back together.