Today is World Mental Health Day and though this year’s theme is Mental Health at Work my headline is holistic of work and home: ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED

In 2024 our work and personal lives are equally demanding and the good-natured expectation to be “back and better than ever” after a night’s rest, weekend or vacation often overlooks the reality that we’re all stretched very thin.

When I went back to school to study therapy it wasn’t with the intention to become a therapist. I was working with Executives on the verge of elevating to their next professional level and the goal was to better understand the therapeutic theories and approaches that would unlock transformational motivation and behavior changes that would make for smooth(er) transitions.

What I learned through seeing clients on nights and weekends and working with the corporate talent during the day should have been obvious but was so prominent in its echo no matter what context I was in – everyone’s mental health was at risk, mostly as a result of two things:

·?????? Trying tirelessly to replicate themselves to be something unique and different to everyone in their lives (think Michael Keaton in Multiplicity if you’re a movie buff)

·?????? Feeling isolated and exhausted in the experience of “trying” in a world where they were either explicitly or implicitly expected to have it all together (imagine the lone duck appearing calm on top of the water while paddling furiously to stay afloat in a pond of swans)

The absolute truth that jumped out at me is one I have shared with clients ever since and it is oversimplified in the following steps intentionally.

1.?????? Breathe. Shallow breaths. Deep breaths. Whatever works just don’t skip it. It reduces anxiety. It provides a pause for clarity. It’s an essential human function.

2.?????? Accept and embrace limitations – in general and in the moment. Very few things in life are limitless yet there are a number of things that desperately need clearly drawn and articulated limits. Both our personal and professional selves have to do the work of identifying and defining limits that keep us mentally, emotionally, socially, physically and financially well. Explore what your limitations are, aligned with your goals, and hold yourself and others accountable to them.

3.?????? ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED. It is uncanny the number of times you will hear “I never knew that’s what you were going through. I wish you had let me know so I could have helped.” when you share with friends, family and coworkers after a high stress period. Gift yourself the benefit of support before or during the high stress period. Find 15 minutes to text, call or email your people (the ones you can always count on) and let them know what you need. The range can be wide and deep – someone to proofread a document, pick up your children from school, call you to kick you off the computer after hours, a joke text to start or end every day, etc.

There are other things like psychological safety and David Rock’s SCARF model that outline the importance of Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness and Fairness at work or the 5 Love Languages that describe the value of Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch and Gifts in friendships and relationships that we can cover in another post at another time.

Today though, in honor of World Mental Health Day, I hope you find a moment to breathe, identify and define an easy limit, and ask for what you need.

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“Take care of yourself and each other.”

-Jerry Springer

REMINDER:

Aside from general coaching and therapy services for everyday needs, if you are ever in crisis there is always a listening ear available if you seek it out.

Call or text 988 to access the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Available 24 hours a day with services provided in English and Spanish.

#worldmentalhealthday #mentalheath #mentalhealthatwork #coaching #executivecoaching #therapy #worklifebalance #wellness #psycologicalsafety #EAP