Small Business Success: The 20 lessons that carried me through.

Republished from my 14-year anniversary right after COVID brought the world to its knees last year. I got so much positive feedback from other small business owners last year, that I thought I should share this again. I wrote myself this love letter on this day last year, 2020 ... when we were holding it together with a few fragile strings.

It's a year later. I'm feeling much stronger and hopeful than I was last year, but things are still tough for all of us.

Published on May 6th, 2020:

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME!

A love letter to myself and my small business on my 14-year anniversary:

Are you a small business owner still wondering if you can pull through these tough times? I think my love letter to myself last year might just give you the inspiration you need to keep fighting the good fight. 

Today is my 14-year Anniversary as a small business owner. We are all in the fight of our lives to survive COVID-19 right now … all while fighting to care for your families and friends … and very likely strangers as well. I’ve been at this for 14 years, and I gotta admit: COVID-19 knocked me sideways for a little while there. Even though I made it through the Great Recession, this is a whole new level of challenge. Every single day, I need to remind myself that I am tough. And I am strong. And that I will find a way to the other side.

To all the other small business owners out there: I SEE YOU. I AM PULLING FOR YOU. If you need a pep talk or a thinking partner, I am right here. Let's help each other get through this.

Carry on, warriors!

20 Things I wish I knew (and believed) when I was starting out:

1.    Christopher Robin was right: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. A.A. Milne (Christopher Robin to Pooh)

2.    You. Can. Do. This. It will be hard, and it will be scary, but if you really want this, you CAN. You’ve done hard things in your life before. You can do hard things again. You’ve got all the talent and intelligence and persistence you need to make your business a success … if that’s what you really want. Is this what you really want?

3.    Owning a small business is a family affair (whether your family works there or not). If you’re not willing to talk about your business at home, you shouldn’t be in business for yourself. On the flip side, your family needs to learn how to turn work off and really be there for them (especially hard to do if you work from home). I would NEVER have survived without the incredible support, belief and encouragement of my wonderful husband and my two boys. For example ... when I first started speaking, I was terrified. Stefan would send me out the door with two hands on my shoulders, a solid look in my eyes and these words: "Go be great. Go change people's lives." My then-4 year old wanting in on these important moments, so he chipped in one day with "And don't pee your pants!" Those sage words still carry me up on stage today.

4.    You can’t be all things to all people. Full stop. Figure out what your priorities are, then learn to say no to some things so you can yes to the things that really matter.

5.    ALL your biggest barriers to success are self-imposed. Your inner critic is a real & scary bi***. She will hold you back from everything you want if you let her. She’s young, she’s afraid and she knows all where all your bodies are buried. She WILL hold them against you if you let her.

6.    It doesn’t matter how good you are at what you do if nobody else knows it or believes it. Even more, it doesn’t matter how good you are if YOU don’t know it and believe it.

7.    Let go of perfect. You will never have the perfect plan, the perfect offering, or the perfect pitch. P.S. A lot of times, your “good enough” is much better than anything anyone else has. 

8.    If you don’t dream big, what’s the point? Figure out what you want … what you REALLY really want … and WHY. The highs are HIGH (More money! More freedom! More fun!) … but the lows are LOW. Running your own business is HARD. Some days are unbearable. If you don’t know why you’re doing it, you will never find the courage or strength to do the tough stuff on the tough days. I think about my dreams and personal motivators every single day.

9.    Dream big … but then take little bites to get you there. You can’t go global overnight, but if you don’t even plan to go global, you will never get there. It’s about keeping your eye on the prize, then making smart little choices all day long to keep you heading in the right direction. You CAN change the world … but it’s gonna happen one person, one project at a time.

10.Being an entrepreneur is lonely and it is hard. You need to build your own network and community of people you can collaborate with, lean on, laugh with, cry with and celebrate with. You need to build a support network of friends and peers who believe in you and support you … and then actually let them help you. Some of them are people you haven’t even met yet. They will surprise and delight you! They will introduce you to the biggest, best clients of your life. They will drag into new business ventures you would have never found on your own (thank you Katherine Poindexter for pushing me to speak at your breakfast connections meeting!) They will save you from yourself. They will save you from denying yourself. I call them my champions. They are you army of advocates. They are your reality check. They are the people who turn you from good to great. 

11.You will lose friends over this. Some people will not understand, they will not believe and they will not support you. It’s heart wrenching, but it’s also okay. Let them go. You will find new friends for this new chapter in your life, and they will be AMAZING. They will understand, and they will believe and they will be there for you on those really ugly-cry days.

12.If you don’t have money in the bank, you aren’t ready to start a business. You absolutely need a rainy day fund. You need a financial cushion for the days when your biggest, favorite client says “We don’t need you anymore” … and for the years when the housing market & stock market crashes … or global pandemics hit. 

13.Those people who make things look really easy? You aren’t seeing it all. You aren’t seeing the sweat, the toil and the tears that got them there. Until you put your head down next to theirs at night, you will never really see that nothing just landed in their lap. They, too, had to work their buns off to get where they are.

14.Your blind spots will kill you if you let them. You must look honestly at your weak spots – and either fix them or hire someone else who can do them.

15.Some people are never going to buy from you … and that’s okay! You just need to figure out who they are as fast as humanly possible … so you can save your energy and brilliance for the people who WILL buy from you and will love and appreciate your services. Just because they need you and want you doesn’t mean that they will buy from you. You need to learn how to qualify your leads, cut bait and run from the tire-kickers as soon as possible. You can be polite about it, but run you must.

16.If you let people take advantage of you, they will. I'm afraid some people really are that greedy and selfish. They will take advantage of your time, your talents and your money if you let them (i.e. A 10-page proposal with a project plan, deliverables and competitive market research is not a proposal. That’s free consulting!) Some people are going to be threatened by you … and they might even steal your ideas, your brand, your message and even your clients. Sometimes, one of them might be so afraid and desperate in their own life that they will take all the free help you gave them, then spread nasty rumors about you in your own backyard and community. That's happening to me right now, and I still don't know what I am going to do about him (if anything). It is shocking and is it devastating, but you WILL pull through it. You cannot let them pull you down.

17. For every one stinker out there in the world (see above), there are DOZENS of other amazing, smart, generous, fun people who cannot WAIT to watch you succeed ... and actually help you do it. Look for them. Connect with them. The take care of them, because those are the people who will help you fly. 

18.If you aren’t failing, you aren’t trying hard enough. You MUST innovate. You MUST try new markets and products and services. A lot of times, they will not work. Those are the gifts of lessons learned. The trick is to see the failure fast … so you can shift and pivot.

19.You don’t have to be a selfish a****** to make it in business. You can do the right thing and be a good human being, and still make money. Full stop.

20.Superman isn’t coming. Stock market crash? Coronavirus pandemic? Only you can do what needs to be done to get your business and your family where it needs to be. And guess what: you were born with a cape on your back. You’ve got this!

Below: Me in 2008, speaking at the Easter Job Transitions Group I had just launched in response to the Great Recession and record high unemployment. I tried to find a picture of me in 2006, when I launched ARBEZ, but I couldn't.