Today marks 1 year since I left the 'corporate' world. Here are 10 things I've learnt:

I apologise for using the word 'corporate' to describe the recruitment industry. I appreciate amongst many clients and candidates the Recruitment Industry is not one that is such ( despite what many recruiters think of themselves).

On reflection, I could have written a lot more than 10, in fact even a mini-series with what's in my head. But I am learning to be more succinct in my words, something I am not very good at.

Anyway here it goes:

A quick throwback to July 2018:

Wife: "We need to scale back and budget for you being out of action for upwards for a year"

Me: "Pfft. Don't be daft. I'll be back in amongst it in no time. It's too big a drop for us to manage for that long anyway."

Wife: "We'll see"

I'm so glad I got the idea of a swift return out of my head. Having no set return date has had an immeasurable positive impact on me.

Not just in me getting better, but for my mind to really break away, detach and close that chapter. This allowed my mind the room it needed to not just help me get better, but also the time/space to develop some much-needed creativity.

The result? Only in the last few months something like a newer, better, happier version of me. The time off and getting the right help, support has helped massively.

It has also allowed my mind to be opened up to newfound potential, and resilience, to generate some amazing ideas for the launch of my first 2 businesses this month

**I had to plug them at some point so might as well get it done this early in the article. So here they are :-)

https://www.dhirubhai.net/company/fidecareers/?viewAsMember=true

https://www.dhirubhai.net/company/fmentalhealth/?viewAsMember=true

As I mentioned in my prelude on my LinkedIn page, I can honestly say I gave it my all during my time in the corporate world.

I gave everything to everyone I worked for, worked with, and with whom I had the privilege of managing.

I achieved a lot, won all manners of 'awards' every year, broke records multiple times each year too.

I always went of my way to please and put everyone first, was totally committed, was liked (by most), was trusted, was respected, was looked up to.

And yes, I even earnt a decent amount.

Despite all the 'success', I very nearly ended my own life.

I just didn't 'feel' how everyone 'expects' you too. 

I felt empty, grey, hollow, lonely, undeserving.

I didn't 'believe' what I achieved. For years I didn't understand what all the fuss was about, I did not like praise, attention, the limelight, the recognition.

I just couldn't feel the joy, pride, happiness and elation that I was supposed to.

Fast forward to July 2019

On reflection (and I've had plenty of time to do that), here are 10 things I've learnt about my experiences over the last 15/20 years:

Life:

- Be yourself. Be authentic. Don't conform to anyone, not even LinkedIn's algorithms :-)

- Take as much time as you need off for your own wellbeing. Nothing, no one (not even your job) is more important than that.

- It's when you are at the lowest you've ever been that you begin to see who your true friends really are. It's a bigger (heartbreaking) eye-opener when you see who deserts you in your time of need.

- No matter how much you do for other people, don't expect the same in return. You will always be disappointed.

- Get rid of all the toxic people in your life (and work) now. They are energy suckers, most often without you realising it. As hard as it sounds, be brave to either move on personally or if you are in a position of responsibility get them out of your business.

- As absurd as it sounds you just have to accept there are people in the world that are holding grudges............for things they've done to you (and people close to you). As if that's not enough, some will then also carry on trying to hurt you.

You have to understand all they are doing is trying to protect their own misdemeanours, poor choices, faults and transgressions.

They're in denial.

Admitting their failings will damage their own reputations in work, as well as their relationships, marriages, life outside of work too.

People will resort to some of the lowest of the low, immoral and unethical actions to protect themselves.

Work

- Don't believe for one second your employer well and truly cares. When push comes to shove none of us is indispensable. Tenure, Performance, Reputation, Goodwill - it means nothing.

- There are way, way too many Mercenaries in the Corporate World. Surround yourself in your business with a much healthier balance of Missionaries and Mercenaries. It will have an even bigger, positive impact on the workplace and the business's fortunes.

- You just have to accept that there are individuals in business that are out for themselves, even ones whom you may class as 'friends from work'. Some even want you to fail even though you've done nothing but good for them.

- Money, Ego, Status, Greed and Power are the roots of a lot of evil. Seemingly 'good people' will lose their social and moral compass in the pursuit of money, and won't let anything or anyone get in their way.

Summary:

I genuinely believe that there is good in everyone, and that it is just their frame of reference that gets blurred and distorted.

People lose their social and moral compass, sometimes temporarily, sometimes for longer. In the world of work, it is all in the name of status, money, profit and jealousy.

In business, I am struggling to get my head around why you can't strive for success (and profit) while still doing good by all your employees?

For me it's simple logic - look after your employees, their wellbeing by putting the first, then watch their engagement, happiness, productivity and buy-in increase.

And then watch how that impacts the growth and success of your business. You will save more money and make more money.

Simple.

Some I have spoken to feel you can't focus on driving growth/sales/profit and do good by your employees at the same time. For what I am about to embark on in launching two businesses, I will prove you can be both a Missionary and Mercenary in the world of work.

Profit with purpose.

Finally:

No matter how low you are, how you feel, how trapped you might think you are - try to find one superhuman effort to prize yourself out of your situation. Or I hope, as there was with me, that you have a loved one (or friend) who is loyal to you and will help to drag you out and on the road to a better life.

Be happy in who you are and what you do.

Finally, If ever you want to chat, or needs any help or advice, then get in touch. Don't suffer in silence x

Javed Bobat

Founder - Fide Careers and F=@#! Mental Health CIC

As a thank you for reading this at the end, and because apparently LinkedIn like pictures (well, sometimes) here is a picture of a (happier) me, with a rather cool little dude that I'm so lucky to have.

And for whom I will make sure I'm there for and make a success of my businesses to provide for them and make them proud.