Today I realized I’ve been failing as a father...

Today I realized I’ve been failing as a father. Hear me out….

I’ve owned a smartphone since Mason was born in 2007. Every day since, I’ve become increasingly dependent on it. At first, I used it sparingly and just for the basics – phone calls, occasional texts, etc. Fast forward to present day and I pick it up 100 times daily. Yes, much of it is a function of my job and that’s just a reality I accept.

But the shameful part is the number of times I’ve diverted much – if not ALL - of my attention to my phone when it should be on my kids. You know, doing really important stuff: Waiting for an immediate reply to the text I just sent; Glancing to see if someone “liked” my stupid FB photo; Checking to make sure the battery is still charged since, God forbid, it hasn’t buzzed or beeped in the last 60 seconds.

Sad.

When my parents played with me as a young kid, I had their undivided attention. Well, at least until my sister Ashley came along, when by law, they had devote some of their attention to her. They didn’t have an iPhone constantly calling their name. They weren’t connected to email, receiving text messages or monitoring an online social network telling them what Mike from their old 5th grade class was eating for dinner! And frankly, why would they even care what Mike from 5th grade was eating? In fact, Mike was kind of an asshole anyway, so.....But I digress.

The point is that I WAS their social network (again, until baby sister). I was their Facebook, Twitter and Instagram rolled in one. I was a better, happier kid as a result.

Sadly, my kids aren’t the only victims of cell phone “addiction”. Last week at Mason’s basketball game, I took a moment to look at the parents in the bleachers. As the game was taking place, more than HALF of them were looking down at their phones and not the court. I had just put my phone away, so I was just as guilty as them. When I was a kid, I would always look in the bleachers to make sure Mom and Dad were watching. And they were – every single time – including those games where I kept the bench warm. But I was happy and proud knowing their attention was on ME.

Today, I watched my son demonstrate a dependence on his iPad like I’ve never seen or wish to see again (that’s as much as I’ll share). And that’s on me. Every day since he was born. It’s my fault.

I’d like to say that I’ll never pick up my phone in front of my kids again, but that’s not realistic. However, when I do, I’ll try to do so through the lens of their eyes and think back to my childhood. And always remember that it’s MY job to make sure they don’t become a slave to the electronic world that can be as addictive as a street drug.

Today I realized I need to be a better father.