Today is the day that changed everything in my life

Today is a day I will never forget. It’s the day my mother passed away. On June 3, 2009, Rikie took her last breath. I am the oldest daughter of four children, and for a time, I was the only child. I grew up in the countryside, free to do as I pleased. My mother was the heart of our family. In an interview, I once said that I saw her as an archetypal mother: someone who was there for everyone, organized everything, initiated and undertook a ton. I learned a lot from her; she was my rock, and above all, the mother I could always turn to for understanding, guidance, and encouragement.

Of course, your life changes after the passing of someone as important as your mom. I want to highlight how I eventually transformed my career into something I didn't know existed at the time. I became a farewell photographer a few years after her death.

Turning Pain into a Gift

Losing my mother at 63 and me at 37 was painful, but at the same time, she gave me a gift, or at least that’s how I see it. I had been a visual creator for years; I wanted to become a film director from a young age. For me, it was logical to want photos of the day she was buried. Because I was going to speak and wanted to be with my father, brother, sisters, husband, and children, we hired a photographer. It was painful to realize afterward that I didn’t receive the photos I wanted. There were no photos of where we sat in the church, where we walked to the grave, how we listened to the singing, how many people and who came to pay their last respects to my mother...

Changing Perspective: Becoming a Farewell Photographer

The photographer we hired didn’t meet my expectations, and after a disappointing search to see if there were other photographers who could have done better, I decided to make a change myself. I wanted to provide something for those who, like me, want photos of that final journey of someone's life and the family around it. The journey we make with so much splendor and ceremony, with honour and personal elements to elevate the moment. Where we take the time to thank and reflect on what this person meant in our lives. We share our love and connection with all the people who knew her. All together in a form to bring a farewell greeting and offer support to those experiencing loss and grief.

Farewell photography and memorial photography have become normal for me. It’s something many might not think of because they aren’t used to it. Some call it a taboo, but I don’t see it that way at all.

Celebrate

So today, I honour not only my mother and remember her wonderful life, but I also celebrate the birth of something beautiful: the phenomenon of farewell photography. Along with my fellow photographers, I’ve made the term well-known in the Netherlands. Thanks also to everyone who believed in this with me. We do something beautiful and valuable, providing something tangible to hold on to the love we still feel. Please spread the word that this special profession exists and that we are meaningful in healing hearts and minds.

Sharing Stories and Teaching Others

I love telling people (around the world) about what I see, capture, and the special stories that I and many other farewell photographers create. I know that not every photographer understands what should be captured. And when you do understand, how do you do it without being a burden or getting in the way? What do you do, how do you move? Where do you stand, which moments do you photograph, and which don’t you? I’m happy to share all of this with photographers in the Farewell Focus community.

**** Join Farewell Focus ****

My new international platform, Farewell Focus, is open for you to join too. To meet others and learn about many forms of farewell and memorial photography.

It’s completely FREE to join.

I hope more and more people get to know the valuable work and the profound honour that can be found in capturing farewells in a respectful way.

Feel free to share this story, or if you know photographers who could be fit to learn about this specialty, show them where to sign up for free. Farewell Focus

Have a great day.

Boukje Canaan

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